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{{Infobox musical artist
|Name = Janet Jackson
|Img =‎ bluejan.jpg
|Img_capt = Jackson performing in concert at the ] luxury resort in ] on ], ].
|Background = solo_singer
|Birth_name = Janet Damita Jo Jackson
|Born = {{birth date and age|1966|05|16}}
|Origin = {{flagicon|USA}} ], ]
|Genre = ], ], ], ], ]
|Occupation = ], ], ], ], ]
|Years_active = 1977–present <small>(acting)</small><br>1982–present <small>(singing)
|Label = ] <small>(1991–2006)</small><br>] <small>(1982–1990)</small>


'''Beyonceitis''' is the destruction of your career by the overall power of ]. Beyonceitis is a serious disease that has destroyed the careers of several artists although a few have been able to have successful careers in spite of it. Beyonceitis is also used to describe the overall media saturation by Beyonce Knowles. Beyonceitis is most severe on artists who attempt to release albums around the same time as Beyonce or perform on the same award shows as Beyonce. Doing so has resulted in the embarrassment of several female artists. Some describe it as Beyonce being overexposed, or as Beyonce having a monopoly on the music game, but truthfully if you are truly making good music you would shine regardless of who else you are in competition with.
|URL =
}}'''Janet Damita Jo Jackson''' (born ], ]) is a ]-winning and ]-nominated American singer, ], ], ], ], ], ], and ]. She is ranked as the ninth most successful artist in the history of rock and roll and the second most successful female recording artist of all time in the US according to '']''. <ref>http://miss-janet.com/index.phtml?go=scream</ref>. In 2006, it was announced that Jackson was the "Most Searched in Internet History", and the "Most Searched for News Item", in the '']'', due to the ].<ref> Retrieved ] ].</ref> In 2007, Janet was ranked the 7th richest woman in the entertainment business by ], amassing a fortune of over $150 million.


==Early life==
]Janet Jackson was born in ] to ] and ], and is the youngest of nine children. The family was middle-class and devout ]. By the time she was a toddler, Janet's older brothers ], ], ], ], and ] had already begun to perform on stage at nightclubs and theaters as the ]. In March 1969, the group signed with ], and by the end of the year the group recorded the first of their four consecutive number-one singles. The ]'s success allowed the entire family to move to ], ] in 1971. The Jacksons settled in a gated mansion that they referred to as “]”,


== Symptoms of Beyonceitis ==
As a young child, Janet's career aspiration was to be a ]. However, after the Jackson 5's success began to diminish, Joseph decided to bring use the rest of the children in the act. On ], ], Janet made her debut performance at the ] in ], alongside her eight older siblings. Janet quickly became a standout in the show, winning over crowds and critics with impersonations of ], ], ] and ].


In 1976, the Jackson family's ] act had caught the attention of ] president ]. The network was desperately trying to find a new variety act to replace its recently defunct '']''. Debuting on ], ], '']'' became the first television variety show starring an African-American family. The series lasted two seasons. As the 1980s began, Janet continued her career in television in the sitcoms '']'', '']'' and '']'', as well as the primetime drama '']''.


*Your album sales have dropped.
==Recording career==
*Your video isn't even on 106 and Park
===1982-1985: Fledgling years===
*Your record label has been pushing your album back for about 3 years.
]Although Janet never wanted to be a professional singer, she obeyed her father's orders and participated in various family musical projects. Her first recording was a duet with brother Randy on a song titled “Love Song for Kids” in ]. When Janet was fifteen, Joe launched her recording career by arranging a contract with ]. Her debut album '']'' was released in ]. Produced by ] singers ], ] and noted producer Leon F. Sylvers III (who had previously worked with the ], ], ], ]) of the famed Sylvers family music group, the album reached the top ten on the ], spent 45 weeks in that chart's top 50, and had moderate success on the ] The album yielded three moderately successful singles: “Young Love,” “Say You Do” and “Come Give Your Love to Me.” The ''Janet Jackson'' album sold over one million (1,000,000) copies worldwide since the time of its release <ref>http://www.cravingjanet.com/charthistory/charthistoryjj.</ref>.
*Your record label has dropped you.
*Your record label called Matthew Knowles asking if they can have Beyonce in exchange for you, $500, and a pack of Newports.
*Go to YouTube, and do a search for one of your videos, and see if Beyonce's name is randomly bought up in the discussion.
*Your fans refer to Beyonce as "Fatonce", "Bitchonce", Weavyonce, or some variation with the suffix "-yonce".


In ], Jackson’s second album, '']'' was released. It marked a musical progression from her debut, with funkier, up-tempo production by brother Marlon and famed ] producer ] (who produced songs for artists such as ].) The album managed to peak at number nineteen on the R&B albums chart, but failed to crack the top 100 in Pop. Though ''Dream Street'' scored a top ten R&B hit with “],” sales of ''Dream Street'' were less than Jackson’s debut album: about 300,000 units in the U.S and 1,000,000 world wide. Music critics, at the time, largely dismissed Janet as simply another supplement from the Jackson assembly line. She'd later admitted that her heart wasn’t into music at the time, and had a greater preference toward acting—where she had made more of a name for herself.


]
===1986-1991: Commercial success===
{{sound sample box align left|Audio samples: }}
{{multi-listen start|Audio sample of:}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Controlsample.ogg|title="Control" (1986)|description=Janet made her declaration of control, with a spoken statement in the opening of the album's title track.|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Janet Jackson - Nasty.ogg|title="Nasty" (1986)|description=Jackson's edgy image and "Miss Jackson" nickname were captured in "Nasty".|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=WhenIThinkOfYousample.ogg|title="When I Think of You" (1986)|description=Jackson's first number one single, the funky, "When I Think of You".|format=]}}
{{multi-listen end}}
{{sample box end}}


== History of Beyonceitis ==
{{cquote|''When I was 17, I did what people told me.''}}


After the limited successes of her first two albums, A&M Records executive John McClain hired producers ] to jump-start Jackson's career as a recording artist. Before leaving for ], Jam and Lewis were given the blessing of Jackson's father, her ]manager at the time, with the promise that they would not have Jackson sounding anything like ], who the two had previously worked with. Within months, Jackson, Jam, and Lewis crafted Jackson's breakthrough album, '']''. Released in February ], ''Control'' spun off five top 5 singles: “],” “],” “]” (Jackson’s first number one single on Billboard’s ]), “],” and “].” Most of the ''Control'' music videos, meanwhile, were choreographed by ]. The album went to the top of the '']'' album charts for two weeks, and has sold more than eight million copies in ].


If one looks in the history of female entertainers they've either fallen into one of two categories: 1. Singers 2. Entertainers. The thinking behind the two groups being either you were singer who couldn't dance or a dancer who couldn't sing. (You wouldn't go to a ] concert for dance moves, and you wouldn't go to a ] concert for singing) Then came Beyonce, an artist who could sing AND entertain. This made it difficult for the singers because they not only had to struggle to find strong enough to compensate for the fact that they were boring live performers, and the entertainers had to find music strong enough to compensate for the fact that they couldn't sing worth a damn.
In early 1987, ''Control'' was awarded a ] for ], six ], four ], three ] and three ], including ]. The same year, Jackson took another step toward independence by firing her father-manager, Joseph Jackson.


{{cquote|''We are a nation with no geographic boundaries, bound together through our beliefs, we are like-minded individuals, sharing a common vision, pushing toward a world rid of color-lines.''}}


== Famous Cases of Beyonceitis ==
{{sound sample box align right|Audio samples: }}
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{{multi-listen item|filename=Janet Jackson - Rhythm Nation.ogg|title="Rhythm Nation" (1989)|description="Rhythm Nation" took a strong social stance.|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=BlackCatsample.ogg|title="Black Cat" (1989)|description=Jackson showed off her versatility in the self-written, rock anthem, "Black Cat".|format=]}} {{multi-listen end}}
{{sample box end}}


=== Ashanti ===
In 1989, Jackson began recording her fourth album, '']''. 1814 referred to the year the song "]" was written; in addition, 'R' is the 18th letter of the alphabet and 'N' the 14th, hence 1814. Though executives at A&M wanted an album similar to ''Control'', Jackson instead created an album that, in addition to songs about love and relationships, had heady socially-conscious message.


Before Beyonceitis crippled her, ] enjoyed a brief period as "The Princess of Hip-Hop Soul", which was an easy title to achieve mainly because there was no other artists to dispute her at the time. However on June 23, 2003 at the 3rd Annual ], Ashanti contracted one of the most severe cases of Beyonceitis when producers decided to put her on after Beyonce. Ashanti tried to step to the stage to perform but Beyonce had already blown it up hours earlier with a now classic rendition of "]". Beyonce's performance that night also exposed every other female artist in the building to a deadly strain Beyonceitis that some have yet to recover from.
]Released on ], ], ''Rhythm Nation 1814'' peaked at number one on the ] Album and R&B charts, sold eight million copies in the US, and became the first album to spawn seven Top 5 singles: “],” “],” and "]”— as well as four number one singles: "],” “],” “],” and “].”


Following her exposure to Beyonceitis, Ashanti released her sophmore album Chapter II lead by the weak 1st single "Oh, Baby(Aww Baby, No Baby, Please Baby, Stop Baby, or whatever the hell that song was called.)" Although Ashanti's 1st week numbers were slightly higher than Beyonce's first week numbers Ashanti's album fell quicker than Michelle on 106 and Park.(in comparison Beyonce's album "Dangerously In Love" remained on the charts a year later.) Ashanti released one more flop of an album, and has not yet full recovered from her bout with Beyonceitis. She is currently in the studio with a number of big name producers but she lacks the live performance skills, and overall vocal ability to fully be cured of Beyonceitis.
A black and white long-form video was created for the album; it included “Miss You Much,” “The Knowledge,” and the ]. The film was shot by director Domenic Sena (''See also ])''. The video represented a “coming together” of all people while taking a firm social stance on issues such as bigotry, ignorance, and education. The ''Rhythm Nation'' film went on to win a ] ] for ''Best Long Form Video''.


=== Amerie ===
In 1990, Janet became the first artist to score a #1 hit simultaneously on the Billboard Hot 100 and Mainstream Rock singles charts with “Black Cat.” ] named ''Rhythm Nation 1814'' the #1 Selling Album of the Year. Jackson went onto win 15 ], five ], four ], three ] and her first ]. The '']'' had an impressive attendance of more than two million people, The tour is the Most successful debut tour of any female artist.


Following the release of her well-polished and well-produced 1st album, ] seemed on track to be...something, although we are not sure what. Following the Beyonceitis bomb dropped at the BET Awards, it became more obvious that Amerie was little more than a mediocre voice, good hair, and nice legs set to a Rich Harrison beat. The first album she released after she caught Beyonceitis was lead by the single "One Thing" and that "one thing" was the only thing the general public cared about from that album. The album sank quicky without a strong follow-up single. Ironically Amerie opened for Beyonce and 'nem's 2005 summer tour where her vocals reportedly scared the crowd and caused several small children to cry. Amerie is currently preparing another assault on our ear drums, slated for release this summer.
===1992-1995: janet. Era===
{{cquote|''You want to know what it takes to rid yourself of me now. There's nothing you can do, accept me for who I am now.'' }}


{{sound sample box align left|Audio samples:}}
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{{multi-listen item|filename=Ifsample.ogg|title="If" (1993)|description=The rock-driven dance song contained Janet doing sultry spoken-style verses filled with innuendo.|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Againsample.ogg|title="Again" (1993)|description= The theme to '']'', Jackson's biggest hit ballad was also nominated for both Golden Globe and Academy Award.|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=ThatstheWayLoveGoessample.ogg|title="That's the Way Love Goes" (1993)|description= Jackson returned through "the back door", with the sensual "That's the Way Love Goes".|format=]}}
{{multi-listen end}}
{{sample box end}}Jackson’s recording contract with A&M Records expired in 1990. After being courted by various major labels, Jackson signed with ] in ] for a reported $40 million, which at the time was the largest recording deal in history. Janet initially considered titling her fifth studio album “Damita,” referencing her middle name, but settled on calling it simply '']'' (She would later name her eighth studio album '']'')


=== Brandy and Monica ===
Released on ], ]; the album became the first by a female artist to debut at number one during the ] era. {{Fact|date=February 2007}} The lead off single, “],” became the first and only single in radio history to enter the Billboard ] chart at number one. Within weeks it also became number one on the ]. The album reached number one in twenty-two countries, sold nearly twenty million copies (19 million as of 2005), and won several awards, including a ]. It was the fourth best-selling album of the year in the United States, and the eighth best-selling album on the year-end Billboard Top Albums chart during the following year. The album spawned five more Top 10 hit singles: "],” “]” (which also peaked at #1 on the Hot 100), “],” “]” and “You Want This.”


]'' (1993).]]


Although ] and ] duked it out on "The Boy Is Mine" over the title of hottest chick in the game, Beyonce exploded on the scene and Three Stooges-slapped both of them. Although Monica was regarded as one of the best vocalists of her generation, and that raspy
In July 1993, Janet made her big-screen debut in the ] directed, '']''. Janet’s ballad, “Again” was featured on the film’s soundtrack, and garnered a ] and ] nomination for ''Best Original Song From A Motion Picture''.<ref>. Filmbug. Retrieved ], ].</ref>
thing that Brandy did was cute from 1995 to mid-1998, the average person would not pay to see either of them in concert, and when you are known JUST for singing and not for having any kind of stage presence it is important that all of your albums are on point and properly promoted with strong singles. Unfortunately for these two, Beyonceitis has sidetracked both of their careers. While Beyonce was at the top of the charts Brandy's album ], although slightly acclaimed, flopped. She later became a judge on one of those American Idol spin
-off shows that I never watched and on December 30, 2006 she proved that sometimes Beyonceitis makes your foot heavy. After releasing a warm turd of an album in 2006 Monica kept her name in the spotlight by sending Sears Portraits of her thugged-out 1-year-old to blogs.


In September ], Janet appeared topless on the cover of '']'' magazine. The cover became one of the most celebrated photos ever taken of a rock artist, and ''Rolling Stone'' named it their 'Most Popular Cover Ever' in 2000. In a precursor to her Super Bowl controversy, Janet was criticized for the explicitness of the photograph. She insisted that the male hands covering her breasts belonged to her partner, ]. The '']'', meanwhile, began in November ] and played for twelve full months at sold-out venues worldwide.


=== Christina Aguilera ===
After years of reservations, Janet agreed to collaborate with her brother, ], on the 1995 single, "]", the lead single from his album ''].'' The song (which lashed out at the media) peaked at #5 on Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart, and featured a futuristic music video created with the help of director ].


Although ] has one of the, um, loudest voices in music, she has not be able to fight the effect of Beyonceitis on her career.Christina caught a case of Beyonceitis on August 28, 2003 at the MTV Video Music Awards. Even after kissing Madonna, and wearing ass-
In October ], Janet’s first hits compilation, '']'', was released via A&M Records. The album focused chiefly on the hits from the ''Control'' and ''Rhythm Nation'' albums; due to contractual reasons, the only ''janet.'' track featured was “].” Two new songs were recorded for the album, “]” and “],” the former peaking at number three on the pop charts.
less chaps, Beyonce still won all the attention with yet another show-stopping performance. Adding insult to injury Christina won no awards that night (while Beyonce won 3) the New York Times ran a picture of Beyonce proclaiming her the "New Queen of Pop." Beyonce won the
crowd over her raw live performance (instead of a lesbian kiss).


Out of jealousy Christina critiziced Beyonce in the November 2003 issue of Blender because, and months later Christina suffered relapse of Beyonceitis when her performance at the Grammys went virtually ignored while Beyonce became the first artist to perform on the Grammys twice in one night and then took home 5 awards.
===1996-1999: The Velvet Rope Era===
{{cquote|''Twisted elegance… It's my belief, that we all have the need to feel special… and it's this need that can bring out the best in us… yet the worst in us… this need created… The Velvet Rope.'' }}
]In 1996, Janet renewed her contract Virgin Records for a reported $80 million,<ref>. Marketplace, Public Radio. Retrieved ] ].</ref> which made her the highest paid female recording artist of all time. During the recording of Jackson’s sixth studio album, she reportedly suffered from ] and anxiety—which fueled the concept behind 1997’s '']''. In August ], the album's lead single, "]" was released to radio. The single sampled the ] classic, '']'' and featured a cameo appearance by rapper, ].
{{sound sample box align right|Audio samples:}}
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{{multi-listen item|filename=Gtigsample.ogg|title="Got 'Til It's Gone" (1997)|description=The first single from, '']'' featured the ] sampled "]" for its chorus, and featured an added rap from ].|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Janet Jackson - Together Again.ogg|title="Together Again" (1997)|description=Jackson paid tribute to ] victims with the upbeat "Together Again".|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=EveryTimesample.ogg|title="Every Time" (1997)|description=A full orchestra backdrop combined with Janet's lush vocals created the ballad, "Every Time".|format=]}}
{{multi-listen end}}
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Fans were taken aback by the album's abrasive content. Songs dealing with ], ], ] issues, ], and ], made up the bulk of the album's design. ''Velvet Rope's'' cover, shot by photographer ], featured Janet with her head down, in a defeated-like pose, with only the word, ''Janet'', glazed over top of the image. The glazed letters were invisible except in reflection, so they do not appear in most pictures of the cover; they were not included on later pressings of the album. There was much speculation about the stories behind the songs, but Janet has not divulged much about them. ''The Velvet Rope'' became her fourth number-one album on the ]<ref> . Retrieved ] ].</ref>, spawned the chart topping “]” (an upbeat, musical tribute to her friends who had died of ]) and the top five “I Get Lonely,” has since sold more than eight million copies worldwide.


Overall, Beyonceitis has caused the general public to ignore much of what Christina does. Her latest album "Back to Basics" did the electric slide down the charts while Beyonce's "B-Day" remained in the Top 10 for months. Her marriage to Joe Whatchamacallit (I honestly don't
In ], Janet set out on a world tour, '']''—which took her on an international trek that included: Europe, North America, Africa,Asia, New Zealand and "]". As her world tour came to a close in ], Janet lent guest vocals to a number of songs by other artists, including: ] "Luv Me, Luv Me", for the soundtrack to '']'', and the ]-nominated "God's Stepchild", from the ''Down on the Delta'' soundtrack, "]" with ], and "]" with ]. Janet also dueted with ] for the song, "I Know The Truth." With her newfound exposure to ], Jackson toyed with the idea of doing a full album focusing on the genre. As 1999 ended, '']'' ranked Jackson (with only three albums released during the 1990s) as the second most successful artist of the decade—behind ].
know his name)was ignored by the press, however everytime Beyonce and Jay make a trip to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles it makes the front page of the newspaper.


=== Janet Jackson, Beyonce, and the Super Bowl ===
===2000-2003: All For You Era===
{{cquote|''Friends say I'm crazy 'cause easily I fall in love, gotta do it different J this time
'' }}


]
In July 2000, Janet returned to the big screen, with her second film, '']'', opposite ]. She also contributed to the film's soundtrack with the track, '“],” which became Janet’s ninth number one pop hit. In March ], Janet was awarded a top honor ] 'Award of Merit,' and became the first honoree of ] celebration, which resulted in performances featuring ], ], ], ], ] and others.<ref>. Contact Music. Retrieved ] ].</ref>


In the fall of 2003 producers for the ] contacted Beyonce to be a part of the halftime show. Beyonce decided that since she had already clapped her asscheeks on MTV and BET, it was now time to be classy, and show people that she could sing, so she decided to sing the ]. Producers then offered the halftime show to Janet Jackson. Midway through rehearsing the halftime show it occurred to Janet that this would be the most important performace of her career and she would need to do something memorable similar to what Beyonce had did on the MTV and BET awards. Since Janet couldn't sing live to save her life she knew her vocals would not be the highlight, and since she was doing the same dance steps she had been doing for the past 16 years she knew that even her trademark dancing would not save her performance. She needed a quick, cheap gimmick to grab people's attention. She decied to bare
Janet's seventh album, '']'', was released on ], ], and debut at number one, with more than 605,000 copies sold in the U.S. ''All for You'' would go on to sell more than three million copies in America. The album's ] topped the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart for seven weeks; the second single, “],” peaked in the top five. Jackson also scored a top 40 single with “]” featuring ]; remixed by rapper ], it would be her third and final single from the ''All for You'' album and would become one of the centerpieces of her '']''. In ], “All For You” won Jackson her fifth ] for “Best Dance Recording”<ref>. Reference.com. Retrieved ] ].</ref> Following this success, she collaborated with ] singer ] on the song ''Feel It Boy''. Janet began work on her next album and accepted an invitation to join the 2004 ] festivities.
her breast. Of course the plan backfired, and Beyonceitis struck Janet -- right in the titty.
{{sound sample box align left|Audio samples:}}
Janet first post-Beyonceitis album, "Damita Jo" was suspiciously more urban than her previous one, and it flopped.
{{multi-listen start|Audio samples of:}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Janet Jackson - All For You.ogg|title="All for You" (2001)|description=The dance-pop song "All for You" spent seven weeks atop the ].|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Janet Jackson - Just A Little While.ogg|title="Just a Little While" (2004)|description= First single released from '']'', was the Prince-inspired, guitar heavy track.|format=]}}
{{multi-listen item|filename=Janet Jackson - All Nite (Don't Stop).ogg|title="All Nite (Don't Stop)" (2004)|description=The ''Anders Bagge'' co-produced dance single contains subtle ] and ] influences.|format=]}}
{{multi-listen end}}
{{sample box end}}


Two years later she made another album which was promoted as her big comeback album and return to her dance roots. Her man-troll of a boyfriend ] stated "I wonder where Beyonce will be in 25 years." Although no one knows for sure where Beyonce will end up in 25 years, his girlfriend's album ended up off the charts in less than 25 days.
===2004-2005: Damita Jo's Wardrobe Malfunction===
{{cquote|''Relax! It's just sex...}}
]
{{main|Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show controversy}}
During the halftime show of ] on ], ], Jackson performed with ] to a live audience of more than one hundred million people. During the performance, Janet sang along with Timberlake on his song “].” When Timberlake sang the lyric ‘gonna have you naked by the end of this song,’ he tore open Janet’s top exposing her right ], which was partially covered by a ]. Timberlake called the incident a “].” Janet apologized,<ref>. ]. ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref> calling it an accident, and saying that Timberlake was supposed to pull away the bustier and leave the red-lace ] intact; however, she later said to an interviewer for ''Genre'' magazine that she wished she had not apologized at all, due to the fact that it made her seem guilty to the public. ], the ], and ] (then one of ]'s corporate siblings), which produced the halftime show, denied all responsibility under a hail of criticism. Jackson and Timberlake confirmed those denials, but the ] continued an investigation. Janet declined CBS’s inviting her to appear at the 2004’s The 46th Annual Grammy Awards ceremony, on the condition that she make another public apology. ], Janet's boyfriend, left his post on the ] committee after Janet refused to apologize again for the Super Bowl incident. The controversy surrounding the incident halted plans for Jackson to star in a made-for-TV biopic on the life on legendary singer ] for ]. Horne reportedly was displeased with the Super Bowl halftime antics and insisted that ABC pull Jackson from the project.


In March ], Jackson’s eighth studio album, '']'', was released, debuting at number two, with opening week sales of nearly 400,000 copies. Though the album had a strong debut, its singles: “],” “],” and “],” all performed modestly on the charts. Janet described the album as ‘a portrait of the many personalities living inside her.’<ref> . ]. ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref> Though ''Damita Jo'' failed to live up to full commercial expectation, it sold three million copies worldwide and received nominations from the ], ], Source Music Awards, ] Music Awards, and ] including ].


== Myths About Beyoncitis ==
Janet appeared as a host of ] on ], ], where she performed a skit that parodied the Super Bowl incident. Janet also appeared in the sitcom '']'' playing herself as ] auditioned to be her back-up dancer. Janet became the most-searched for person on the ] in 2004.<ref>. ]. ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref> Jackson was also the most-searched of 2005 on ].<ref>Borland, John. . ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref> On ], ], Janet was awarded a Humanitarian Award by the ], a national gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender civil rights organization on behalf of her work and involvement in raising money for AIDS charities. She accepted the award saying, “what I've learned in these recent months is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's real. It’s a beautiful light that both comforts our minds and strengthens our souls. Tonight my heart is filled with gratitude for that light. I’m so grateful that prayers are answered, that faith is rewarded and tolerance is celebrated as a virtue. I’m grateful that God is of unconditional love.”<ref>. ]. ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref>


===2006-present: 20 Y.O. Era===
{{cquote|''Time flashes by like lightening in the sky...I've covered a lot in my 20 years, and I've uncovered a lot in my 20 years.'' }}
]On ], ] Janet celebrated her 40th birthday with a birthday bash at Shereen Arazms Shag in Los Angeles. In attendance were many of her former dancers—as well as singer ], who serenaded her.<ref>. Ireland Online. ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref>
Jackson appeared on the cover of '']'' in June 2006 and it became the magazine's best selling issue ever, outselling issues with ] and ] on the cover.<ref>. "Janet Jackson Celebrates 'Control'!". Retrieved ], ].</ref>


There are several myths about how to cure Beyonceitis. None of which will work. This section of the article will discuss several rumored cures and why they don't work.
Virgin Records released Jackson’s ninth studio album, '']'', on ], ]. ''20 Years Old'', a nod to the twentieth anniversary of ''Control'' (and said to reference to how young Janet feels). The album debuted at number two on Billboard’s albums charts respectively; selling 296,873 copies in its first week. ]Janet launched a contest giving fans an opportunity to create the artwork for the album. The "Design Me" contest required participants to download images of Janet and create proposed covers for the album. Janet hand-picked dozens of images, new and old, to be used in the contest. She selected her top four favorites, which were used for the first one million pressings of ''20 Y.O.''<ref>."Janet Jackson Wants Fans To Design New Album Cover" Retrieved ] ]. </ref> Reviews for 20 Y.O. were mixed by critics and fans alike. Sales for the album were also disappointing. Producer Jermaine Dupri was reportedly let go as president of the Urban division at Virgin Records due to the album's dismal record sales (although some reports claimed Dupri quit).


'''Cure #1 - Saying Beyonce wears wigs.'''
''20 Y.O.'' first single, '']'', a duet with rapper ], peaked at #25 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart; while topping the R&B singles chart. The second single, “],” became Jackson’s seventeenth number one on the Billboard ] Chart. Janet later opened the 2006 Billboard Music Awards, performing a medley of "]" and "]." ''20 Y.O.'' was certified platinum in December 2006<ref>http://www.riaa.com/news%5Cnewsletter%5C121106.asp</ref> and received a Grammy nomination for “Best Contemporary R&B Album.” The release of ''20 Y.O.'' completed Jackson's contract with Virgin Records.


'''Why this Doesn't Work:''' Although Beyonce has more wigs than she does clean panties, saying Beyonce wears wigs has little power because Black female entertainers have been wearing wigs since Tina was rolling on the river with Ike.
On ], ], it was announced that Jackson would star in ] forthcoming film, '']''. Filming began on ], ] <ref>. Variety.com. "Jackson Gets Married". Retrieved ], ]</ref> and the film is scheduled to be released in October 2007. In April 2007, Jermaine Dupri announced on his MySpace page that Janet will record a single for the upcoming film, ]. The film has an expected release date of ], ].


'''Cure #2 Saying that Beyonce Doesn't Dance, All She Does is Shake Her Ass'''
Jermaine Dupri told MTV News recently, "Definitely Janet will end up at Island Records, . That's without a doubt. L.A. always wanted to sign her regardless I was there or not. I don't know where that deal is -- I left that in the hands of L.A. and Janet's people -- but more than likely, he'll get what he wants." A spokesperson for Virgin didn't respond to requests for comment by press time about Jackson's status with the label or Dupri's departure.{{Fact|date=May 2007}}


'''Why This Doesn't Work:''' Although Beyonce jiggles her asscheeks better than Diamond did in the Player's Club, she is a fine natural dancer. Although she has yet to master the stiff, robotic moves of Ciara and Janet, at least she does have rhythm, which is more than most artists.
==Personal life==
In 1984, at age eighteen, Jackson eloped with ], a member of the singing group ]. News of the couple's nuptials was reported on '']''. Jackson would later admit that the marriage was not a good one, and that the family—particularly Joe—disapproved of the union. Jackson was granted an ] in March 1985. There have been allegations made by DeBarge’s brother that Jackson and DeBarge produced a daughter who was born shortly after their breakup and lived with her aunt Rebbie Jackson. Jackson has refuted these rumors.<ref>http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/janetjackson/articles/story/8680295/in_brief_janet_the_who</ref>


'''Cure #3 Saying Beyonce is Overexposed. She should Sit Down and Give (insert name of your favorite artist) a chance to shine.'''
In 1991, Jackson and long-time lover/business partner ], were secretly married in a private ceremony. Hoping to avoid public scrutiny, the two sought to kept their marriage a closely guarded secret, while continuing to present themselves as simply live in lovers in the eye of the media. As the decade drew to a close, both Jackson and Elizondo admitted that they had become more business partners than a couple. In 1999, the two ended their eight year marriage. In 2001, Rene Elizondo sued Janet for spousal support.<ref>. ]. Retrieved ] ]</ref> Their court battle ended in 2003 with the divorce finalized and Elizondo receiving half the multi-million dollar pay-off he was hoping for.<ref>. ]. ] ]. Retrieved ] ].</ref>


'''Why This Doesn't Work:''' This is basically admitting that the artist you like can't succeed unless Beyonce is gone. This is like going back 15 years ago and telling Michael Jordan to sit out a season so that other teams could win.
Since 2003, Janet has been involved with ] producer ]. In the time that they've been together, there have been numerous rumors that the two have married, though they have consistently denied these reports although she admits that the two do live together. Dupri appeared in Janet's video for "]", while Janet returned the favor by appearing in Dupri's video for his 2005 single, “Gotta Getcha.”


It is also believed that once Beyonce takes a break that Beyonceitis will be cured, however Beyonce has fucked up the industry so much,that artists will always be compared to her, and her name will always be bought up in topics, even ones that don't have anything to do with her.
==Discography==
''For complete discography and sales information see'' ''''']'''''.


'''Cure #4 Saying Beyonce Wouldn't Be Successfull if She Weren't Light-Skinned and Pretty'''
{{col-begin}}
{{col-2}}
===Studio albums===
*1982: '']''
*1984: '']''
*1986: '']''
*1989: '']''
*1993: '']''
*1995: '']''
*1997: '']''
*2001: '']''
*2004: '']''
*2006: '']''


'''Why This Doesn't Work:''' Only fat, ugly, dark-skinned people say this. People only complain about sterotypes when they don't work to their advantage.
{{col-2}}
===U.S. number-one singles (Billboard Hot 100)===
*1986: "]"
*1989: "]"
*1990: "]"
*1990: "]"
*1991: "]"
*1993: "]"
*1993: "]"
*1997: "]"
*2000: "]"
*2001: "]"
{{col-end}}


== Artists Who Have Survived Beyonceitis ==
==='''U.S number-one singles (Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop''')===
*1986: "]"
*1986: "]"
*1986: "]"
*1987: "]"
*1987: "]"
*1989: "]"
*1989: "]"
*1990: "]"
*1992: "]"
*1993: "]"
*1994: "]"
*1997: "]"
*1999: "]" (] featuring Janet Jackson)
*2001: "]"
*2006: "]"


==Other work== ===Ciara===


Since Aaliyah has died and Janet Jackson is one album flop away from taking ] chair on ], there is void for an artist with limted vocal ability, intricate dance moves, and innovative videos. ] is quickly filling that spot. Although her first album was a hit, Ciara is just now realizing how powerful music videos can be to artists who can't really sing, but can pop, lock, and drop it. Although they were not smashes on the singles charts the videos for her latest singles "Promise" and "Like a Boy" were arguably two of the most inventive videos in recent memory. Although Ciara lacks Beyonce's vocal talent, and will probably never be able to shake the rumors that she was born with a nutsack, she should be able to control the effect of Beyonceitis on her career as long as she keeps dancing and keeps
{{col-begin}}
her breasts in her training bra.
{{col-2}}
===Television series===
*1977-1979: '']''
*1979-1980: '']''
*1980-1984: '']''
*1984-1985: '']''


===Films=== ===Mary J. Blige===
*1993: '']''
*2000: '']''
*2007: '']''


Mary's first album after Beyonceitis was "Love and Life" her happiest album to date. Someone also told Mary that it was good idea to dance in her video although she has a limited amount of rhythm. The album yielded no hits and quickly fell off the charts mainly because no one
===DVD===
wants to party with ]. They would rather her sing her trademark "I-love-him-he-don't-love-me-I'm-so-tired-of crying" songs. When she returned to the formula that made her famous she had what many considered the best year of her 14-year career. She had her
*1990: ''The Rhythm Nation Compilation''
longest running #1 "Be Without You" and won her first televised Grammy.
*1995: ''Design of a Decade 1986/1996''
*1998: ''The Velvet Rope Tour - Live In Concert''
*2002: ''All For You (special edition CD+DVD)''
*2002: ''Live in Hawaii''
*2004: '']''
*2007: ''Janet Jackson: Exposed''


===Tours===
*1990-1990: ]
*1993-1995: ]
*1998-1999: ]
*2001-2002: ]
{{col-2}}


===Music videos=== ===Mariah Carey===
*1984: ''Dream Street''
*1986: ''What Have You Done for Me Lately''
*1986: ''Nasty''
*1986: ''When I Think of You''
*1986: ''Control''
*1987: ''Let's Wait Awhile''
*1987: ''The Pleasure Principle''
*1988: ''Diamonds''
*1989: ''2300 Jackson Street''
*1989: ''Miss You Much''
*1989: ''The Knowledge''
*1989: ''Rhythm Nation''
*1989: ''Escapade''
*1990: ''Alright''
*1990: ''Come Back To Me''
*1990: ''Black Cat''
*1990: ''Love Will Never Do (Without You)''
*1992: ''The Best Things in Life are Free''
*1993: ''That's the Way Love Goes''
*1993: ''If''
*1993: ''Again''
*1994: ''Because of Love''
*1994: ''Any Time, Any Place''
*1994: ''Throb(live)''
*1994: ''You Want This'' feat. ]
*1995: ''Whoops Now''
*1995: ''What'll I Do (live)''
*1995: ''Scream''
*1995: ''Runaway''
*1996: ''Twenty Foreplay''
*1997: ''Got 'Til It's Gone''
*1997: ''Together Again''
*1997: ''Together Again (Deeper Remix)''
*1998: ''I Get Lonely''
*1998: ''I Get Lonely (TNT Remix)'' feat ]
*1998: ''Go Deep''
*1998: ''You (live)''
*1998: ''Every Time''
*1999: ''Girlfriend/Boyfiend''
*1999: ''What's It Gonna Be?!''
*2000: ''Doesn't Really Matter''
*2001: ''All For You''
*2001: ''Someone to Call My Lover''
*2001: ''Someone to Call My Lover Remix feat ]''
*2001: ''Son Of A Gun feat (Missy Elliott)''
*2002: ''Feel It Boy (Beanie Man)''
*2004: ''Just a Little While''
*2004: ''Just a Little While (live version)''
*2004: ''I Want You''
*2004: ''R & B Junkie (not realesed)''
*2004: ''All Nite (Don't Stop)''
*2005: ''Gotta Getcha (Jermaine Dupri)''
*2006: ''Call On Me'' feat. ]
*2006: ''So Excited'' feat. ]


Mariah's first album after Beyonceitis overtook the industry, was the best-selling album of the year, and heralded as her great comeback to the top of the charts. It should be noted that during this time Mariah's live vocal performances were noticeably below the level of her
{{col-end}}
previous ones, and she began lip-synchig despite being best known for her 5-octave vocal range. Despite some shitty live performances, Mariah seemed unfazed by Beyonceitis and like Mary J. Blige. Mariah realized sometimes it's best to stick with what made you famous instead instead of trying to be like Beyonce; However, video of her attemtpting to dance at one of her concerts leaked on ] And Jesus wept.


== Treatments of Beyonceitis ==
==Achievements==
*In 2007, Jackson's '']'' and '']'' were listed by the National Association of Recording Merchandisers and the ] as two of the 200 Definitive Albums of All Time, coming in at #87 and #151, respectively.<ref>http://www.difinitive200.com</ref>


*In 2007, Jackson was not named by ] and ] as one of the twenty richest women in entertainment, coming in at #7.<ref>http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/070118/20070118005439.html?.v=1</ref>


There currently is no cure for Beyonceitis other than to actually have some kind of musical talent, and now that producers have totally taken over the music industry there is little need for artists that can sing or have any kind of star power. Record companies are not looking for
*According to the 2007 edition of the ], Jackson is the most-searched person on the web.<ref>http://www.cbc.ca/arts/story/2006/09/29/guinness-record-book.html</ref>
singers or entertainers anymore. They just need cute faces to put on album covers. Since producers have become so prolific even people with little to no musical ability at all can have hit songs and catchy albums (see: Cassie, Amerie, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears). There will more than likely be no artist to match the impact Beyonce has had on music and popular culture. You would have to have her talent, her work ethic, her vocal ability, her live performance skills, her sex appeal, and, most importantly, her wig collection. Artists have two options
in fighting Beyonce. 1. Release an album the same time she does and take an embarrassing ass-whooping. 2. Wait until she goes away to release their albums.


The most powerful way to fight Beyonceitis is when Beyonce learns the meaning of the words "sit down". Beyonce has been a fast-moving ball of weave and destruction since 2003. After she wraps her 2007 tour this fall Beyonce plans to take time off before pursuing her next film and music projects. Several far less talented acts have decided to use this time to release their albums so expect new music from a number of second rate talent all hoping to get some attention while Beyonce is in hibernation.
*Since her debut in 1982, Jackson has spent a total of 660 weeks on Billboard's ] and 539 weeks on Billboard's ].

*With five number-one albums, Jackson sits in a third place tie with ] among female artists with the most number-one albums on the ].

*Jackson is one of nine women to have five or more Top 10 debuts on the ].

*So far in her career, Jackson has sold more than 75 million albums worldwide and more than 70 million singles worldwide.<ref>http://mitglied.lycos.de/jdjgermany</ref>

*With an $80 million dollar recording contract with ], Jackson is the highest-paid female recording artist of all time.

*In 2004, ] ranked Jackson as the ninth most successful recording artist in the history of rock & roll. She is also the second most successful female artist behind only ].

*To this day, Jackson remains the only artist in ] history to hit the top of the dance, pop, rock, rap, R&B, adult contemporary and Top 40 charts.

*In 2003, Jackson's "]", "]", "]", "]" and "]" were listed on the ] coming in at #9, #35, #58, #63 and #95, respectively.<ref>http://www.mi2n.com/press.php3?press_nb=47877</ref>

*In 2003, Jackson's "]" and "]" were named by ] Magazine as two of ], coming in at #256 and #275, respectively.

*First-week sales of Jackson's "]" is the highest of her career scanning 605,128 copies. It is the 3rd highest first-week from an R&B female behind ]'s "]" and ]' "]".

*In 1986, at the age of 20, Jackson became one of the youngest female artists to hit number-one on ]'s ] with her '']'' album.

*Jackson and brother, Michael, are the only siblings to hit the top of Billboard's ].

*Jackson's "]", with brother Michael, is featured in the ] as the Most Expensive Music Video Ever Made. The video cost more than $7 million dollars.

*Jackson's "]", with brother Michael, became the first single in ] history to debut in the Top 5 on Billboard's ]. The single also made the highest debut on the ] chart at no.12.

*Jackson's "] remains the most successful debut in history, grossing $28.1 million in the U.S. alone.

*In 1987, Jackson's "]" was nominated for nine ]. The most nominations in a single year.

*Jackson dominated the ] in 1990, winning eight awards. It was the first time, in history, that a woman had won an unprecedented number of awards.

*With twelve honors from the ], Jackson has won more awards than any other artist in the history of the program.

*With thirty-three ] in her name, Jackson has won more awards than any other artist Michael coming in second with 26.

*Jackson's "]" and "]" were named by ] and ] as two of the 100 Greatest Videos Ever Made coming in at no.44 and no.88, respectively.

*Jackson's "]" was named by ] magazine as the seventy-ninth greatest song in rock history.

*Jackson's HBO special, "The Velvet Rope: Live in Madison Square Garden", was watched by more than 15 million viewers. The two-hour concert crushed the ratings of all four major networks in homes that subscribed to ].<ref>http://www.timewarner.com/corp/newsroom/pr/0,20812,666900,00.html</ref>

*Jackson's "]" marks her seventeenth number-one hit on Billboard's ] chart. The most number-ones of any female artist with the exceptions of ], who has twenty-one and ], who has thirty-six.

*In 2001, Jackson's "]" single made radio history when the single was added to every CHR/Pop, CHR/Rhythmic, and CHR/Urban station that reports to ].

*Jackson's "]" became the first album from a female to score five Top 5 singles on Billboard's ].

*Jackson has more Gold singles (23). Only second behind ] (25).

*Jackson's "]" became the first album to score four number-one singles on Billboard's ] Chart.

*Jackson's "]" became the first single to debut at number-one on Billboard's ] Chart.

*Jackson's "]" is the biggest-selling single of all time by a female recording artist in South Africa. It also holds the record for most weeks spent at number-one (9 weeks) and most weeks spent on the South African Sales chart (44 weeks).

*Jackson's "]" became the first single from a female to debut in the Top 10 on the Billboard ].

*With twenty-seven Top 10 singles, Jackson sits in a fifth place tie with ] among artists with the most Top 10 singles on Billboard's ].

*In 1989, Jackson's "]" became the first single to simultaneously hit number-one on Billboard's Hot 100, Hot R&B, and Dance Singles Charts.

*Jackson's "]" was named by ] as the fourth greatest dance single of the 1980s.

*In 1990, Jackson's "]" became the first single to simultaneously hit number-one on Billboard's Hot 100 and Mainstream Rock Singles charts.

*Jackson is the only artist to be nominated for Grammys in the Dance, Pop, Rock, Rap and R&B categories.

*In 1990, Jackson became the first woman of color to be nominated for a Producer of The Year Grammy.

*Jackson is the only female artist to have 19 consecutive Top 10 singles on the ]].

*Jackson's "]" became the first album to score five number-one singles on Billboard's Hot R&B Singles Chart.

*With the release of only three albums in the 1990s, Jackson was named by '']'' as the second biggest artist of the decade, surpassing such artists as ], ], ], ], ], and ] and only second to ]. <ref>http://mitglied.lycos.de/jdjgermany</ref>

*Jackson is the only female artist in history to have five back-to-back #1 studio albums on the U.S. ] albums chart. <ref>http://mitglied.lycos.de/jdjgermany</ref>

*Jackson is the first artist to have #1 singles on the U.S. ] singles chart in the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s. Second being Madonna <ref>http://www.8notes.com/biographies/janet_jackson.asp</ref>

*Jackson is the only artist to place five or more top 10 singles on the Hot 100 from each of her three consecutive albums '']'', '']'', and '']''

*Jackson is the only artist to have seven top five singles on the Hot 100 from one album, '']''. <ref>http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/bio/index.jsp?pid=4899&cr=artist&or=ASCENDING&sf=length&kw=janet%20jackson</ref>

*Jackson's "]" became the first and only album in ] history to score no.1 singles on the ] in the three different calendar years (1989-1991).

*With fifteen #1 hits on the Billboard ] chart, Jackson is the female artist with the second most #1 singles on that chart, second only to ] who has eighteen. <ref>http://mitglied.lycos.de/jdjgermany</ref>

*Jackson's "]" is her longest-charting single spending 46 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100.

*Janet's biggest selling single worldwide is "]", in 1998 it was the 4th biggest selling single of the year in Europe (2nd biggest for a female, only outsold by ]'s "]"). Worldwide sales according to ] are over 5.5 million copies, one of the largest selling singles ever from a female artist. "Together Again" spent nearly 50 weeks in the Top 50 of the ], it also remains one of the longest charting hits in Billboard history. "Together Again" sold over 760,000 in the UK making it one of the biggest selling singles ever in the UK from a female artist, "Together Again" sold over 600,000 copies in ] also earned a Platinum certification just 2 months after it was released. "Together Again", also went Platinum in the ], ], ], ], ], and even went Double Platinum in ] and ].<ref>http://mitglied.lycos.de/jdjgermany</ref>

*Was ranked number five on the BET's Top 25 Greatest Dancers of All Time which was the highest number for a female.

==See also==
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==Notes and references==
<div class="references-small">
<references/>
</div>

==External links==
<!--Please do not add fansites, as they will be promptly removed.-->
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*{{imdb name|id=0001390|name=Janet Jackson}}
*{{amg|id=11:u1u06j5h71r0|label=Janet Jackson}}
{{Janet Jackson}}

{{Jackson siblings}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Jackson, Janet}}

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Revision as of 12:57, 19 May 2007

File:Baddestchick.jpg
Beyonce, showing why she's hot.

Beyonceitis is the destruction of your career by the overall power of Beyonce Knowles. Beyonceitis is a serious disease that has destroyed the careers of several artists although a few have been able to have successful careers in spite of it. Beyonceitis is also used to describe the overall media saturation by Beyonce Knowles. Beyonceitis is most severe on artists who attempt to release albums around the same time as Beyonce or perform on the same award shows as Beyonce. Doing so has resulted in the embarrassment of several female artists. Some describe it as Beyonce being overexposed, or as Beyonce having a monopoly on the music game, but truthfully if you are truly making good music you would shine regardless of who else you are in competition with.


Symptoms of Beyonceitis

  • Your album sales have dropped.
  • Your video isn't even on 106 and Park
  • Your record label has been pushing your album back for about 3 years.
  • Your record label has dropped you.
  • Your record label called Matthew Knowles asking if they can have Beyonce in exchange for you, $500, and a pack of Newports.
  • Go to YouTube, and do a search for one of your videos, and see if Beyonce's name is randomly bought up in the discussion.
  • Your fans refer to Beyonce as "Fatonce", "Bitchonce", Weavyonce, or some variation with the suffix "-yonce".


File:Sandwichpool.jpg
Beyonce takes a break from shitting on mediocre artists, and enjoys a nice pork rind, chicken gizzard, and mayoniasse sandwich poolside in St. Tropez.

History of Beyonceitis

If one looks in the history of female entertainers they've either fallen into one of two categories: 1. Singers 2. Entertainers. The thinking behind the two groups being either you were singer who couldn't dance or a dancer who couldn't sing. (You wouldn't go to a Whitney Houston concert for dance moves, and you wouldn't go to a Janet Jackson concert for singing) Then came Beyonce, an artist who could sing AND entertain. This made it difficult for the singers because they not only had to struggle to find strong enough to compensate for the fact that they were boring live performers, and the entertainers had to find music strong enough to compensate for the fact that they couldn't sing worth a damn.


Famous Cases of Beyonceitis

Ashanti

Before Beyonceitis crippled her, Ashanti enjoyed a brief period as "The Princess of Hip-Hop Soul", which was an easy title to achieve mainly because there was no other artists to dispute her at the time. However on June 23, 2003 at the 3rd Annual BET Awards, Ashanti contracted one of the most severe cases of Beyonceitis when producers decided to put her on after Beyonce. Ashanti tried to step to the stage to perform but Beyonce had already blown it up hours earlier with a now classic rendition of "Crazy In Love". Beyonce's performance that night also exposed every other female artist in the building to a deadly strain Beyonceitis that some have yet to recover from.

Following her exposure to Beyonceitis, Ashanti released her sophmore album Chapter II lead by the weak 1st single "Oh, Baby(Aww Baby, No Baby, Please Baby, Stop Baby, or whatever the hell that song was called.)" Although Ashanti's 1st week numbers were slightly higher than Beyonce's first week numbers Ashanti's album fell quicker than Michelle on 106 and Park.(in comparison Beyonce's album "Dangerously In Love" remained on the charts a year later.) Ashanti released one more flop of an album, and has not yet full recovered from her bout with Beyonceitis. She is currently in the studio with a number of big name producers but she lacks the live performance skills, and overall vocal ability to fully be cured of Beyonceitis.

Amerie

Following the release of her well-polished and well-produced 1st album, Amerie seemed on track to be...something, although we are not sure what. Following the Beyonceitis bomb dropped at the BET Awards, it became more obvious that Amerie was little more than a mediocre voice, good hair, and nice legs set to a Rich Harrison beat. The first album she released after she caught Beyonceitis was lead by the single "One Thing" and that "one thing" was the only thing the general public cared about from that album. The album sank quicky without a strong follow-up single. Ironically Amerie opened for Beyonce and 'nem's 2005 summer tour where her vocals reportedly scared the crowd and caused several small children to cry. Amerie is currently preparing another assault on our ear drums, slated for release this summer.


Brandy and Monica

Although Brandy and Monica duked it out on "The Boy Is Mine" over the title of hottest chick in the game, Beyonce exploded on the scene and Three Stooges-slapped both of them. Although Monica was regarded as one of the best vocalists of her generation, and that raspy thing that Brandy did was cute from 1995 to mid-1998, the average person would not pay to see either of them in concert, and when you are known JUST for singing and not for having any kind of stage presence it is important that all of your albums are on point and properly promoted with strong singles. Unfortunately for these two, Beyonceitis has sidetracked both of their careers. While Beyonce was at the top of the charts Brandy's album Afrodisiac, although slightly acclaimed, flopped. She later became a judge on one of those American Idol spin -off shows that I never watched and on December 30, 2006 she proved that sometimes Beyonceitis makes your foot heavy. After releasing a warm turd of an album in 2006 Monica kept her name in the spotlight by sending Sears Portraits of her thugged-out 1-year-old to blogs.


Christina Aguilera

Although Christina Aguilera has one of the, um, loudest voices in music, she has not be able to fight the effect of Beyonceitis on her career.Christina caught a case of Beyonceitis on August 28, 2003 at the MTV Video Music Awards. Even after kissing Madonna, and wearing ass- less chaps, Beyonce still won all the attention with yet another show-stopping performance. Adding insult to injury Christina won no awards that night (while Beyonce won 3) the New York Times ran a picture of Beyonce proclaiming her the "New Queen of Pop." Beyonce won the crowd over her raw live performance (instead of a lesbian kiss).

Out of jealousy Christina critiziced Beyonce in the November 2003 issue of Blender because, and months later Christina suffered relapse of Beyonceitis when her performance at the Grammys went virtually ignored while Beyonce became the first artist to perform on the Grammys twice in one night and then took home 5 awards.

Overall, Beyonceitis has caused the general public to ignore much of what Christina does. Her latest album "Back to Basics" did the electric slide down the charts while Beyonce's "B-Day" remained in the Top 10 for months. Her marriage to Joe Whatchamacallit (I honestly don't know his name)was ignored by the press, however everytime Beyonce and Jay make a trip to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles it makes the front page of the newspaper.

Janet Jackson, Beyonce, and the Super Bowl

In the fall of 2003 producers for the Super Bowl halftime show contacted Beyonce to be a part of the halftime show. Beyonce decided that since she had already clapped her asscheeks on MTV and BET, it was now time to be classy, and show people that she could sing, so she decided to sing the National Anthem. Producers then offered the halftime show to Janet Jackson. Midway through rehearsing the halftime show it occurred to Janet that this would be the most important performace of her career and she would need to do something memorable similar to what Beyonce had did on the MTV and BET awards. Since Janet couldn't sing live to save her life she knew her vocals would not be the highlight, and since she was doing the same dance steps she had been doing for the past 16 years she knew that even her trademark dancing would not save her performance. She needed a quick, cheap gimmick to grab people's attention. She decied to bare her breast. Of course the plan backfired, and Beyonceitis struck Janet -- right in the titty. Janet first post-Beyonceitis album, "Damita Jo" was suspiciously more urban than her previous one, and it flopped.

Two years later she made another album which was promoted as her big comeback album and return to her dance roots. Her man-troll of a boyfriend Jermaine Dupri stated "I wonder where Beyonce will be in 25 years." Although no one knows for sure where Beyonce will end up in 25 years, his girlfriend's album ended up off the charts in less than 25 days.

Myths About Beyoncitis

There are several myths about how to cure Beyonceitis. None of which will work. This section of the article will discuss several rumored cures and why they don't work.

Cure #1 - Saying Beyonce wears wigs.

Why this Doesn't Work: Although Beyonce has more wigs than she does clean panties, saying Beyonce wears wigs has little power because Black female entertainers have been wearing wigs since Tina was rolling on the river with Ike.

Cure #2 Saying that Beyonce Doesn't Dance, All She Does is Shake Her Ass

Why This Doesn't Work: Although Beyonce jiggles her asscheeks better than Diamond did in the Player's Club, she is a fine natural dancer. Although she has yet to master the stiff, robotic moves of Ciara and Janet, at least she does have rhythm, which is more than most artists.

Cure #3 Saying Beyonce is Overexposed. She should Sit Down and Give (insert name of your favorite artist) a chance to shine.

Why This Doesn't Work: This is basically admitting that the artist you like can't succeed unless Beyonce is gone. This is like going back 15 years ago and telling Michael Jordan to sit out a season so that other teams could win.

It is also believed that once Beyonce takes a break that Beyonceitis will be cured, however Beyonce has fucked up the industry so much,that artists will always be compared to her, and her name will always be bought up in topics, even ones that don't have anything to do with her.

Cure #4 Saying Beyonce Wouldn't Be Successfull if She Weren't Light-Skinned and Pretty

Why This Doesn't Work: Only fat, ugly, dark-skinned people say this. People only complain about sterotypes when they don't work to their advantage.

Artists Who Have Survived Beyonceitis

Ciara

Since Aaliyah has died and Janet Jackson is one album flop away from taking Paula Abdul's chair on American Idol, there is void for an artist with limted vocal ability, intricate dance moves, and innovative videos. Ciara is quickly filling that spot. Although her first album was a hit, Ciara is just now realizing how powerful music videos can be to artists who can't really sing, but can pop, lock, and drop it. Although they were not smashes on the singles charts the videos for her latest singles "Promise" and "Like a Boy" were arguably two of the most inventive videos in recent memory. Although Ciara lacks Beyonce's vocal talent, and will probably never be able to shake the rumors that she was born with a nutsack, she should be able to control the effect of Beyonceitis on her career as long as she keeps dancing and keeps her breasts in her training bra.

Mary J. Blige

Mary's first album after Beyonceitis was "Love and Life" her happiest album to date. Someone also told Mary that it was good idea to dance in her video although she has a limited amount of rhythm. The album yielded no hits and quickly fell off the charts mainly because no one wants to party with Mary J. Blige. They would rather her sing her trademark "I-love-him-he-don't-love-me-I'm-so-tired-of crying" songs. When she returned to the formula that made her famous she had what many considered the best year of her 14-year career. She had her longest running #1 "Be Without You" and won her first televised Grammy.


Mariah Carey

Mariah's first album after Beyonceitis overtook the industry, was the best-selling album of the year, and heralded as her great comeback to the top of the charts. It should be noted that during this time Mariah's live vocal performances were noticeably below the level of her previous ones, and she began lip-synchig despite being best known for her 5-octave vocal range. Despite some shitty live performances, Mariah seemed unfazed by Beyonceitis and like Mary J. Blige. Mariah realized sometimes it's best to stick with what made you famous instead instead of trying to be like Beyonce; However, video of her attemtpting to dance at one of her concerts leaked on YouTube. And Jesus wept.

Treatments of Beyonceitis

There currently is no cure for Beyonceitis other than to actually have some kind of musical talent, and now that producers have totally taken over the music industry there is little need for artists that can sing or have any kind of star power. Record companies are not looking for singers or entertainers anymore. They just need cute faces to put on album covers. Since producers have become so prolific even people with little to no musical ability at all can have hit songs and catchy albums (see: Cassie, Amerie, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears). There will more than likely be no artist to match the impact Beyonce has had on music and popular culture. You would have to have her talent, her work ethic, her vocal ability, her live performance skills, her sex appeal, and, most importantly, her wig collection. Artists have two options in fighting Beyonce. 1. Release an album the same time she does and take an embarrassing ass-whooping. 2. Wait until she goes away to release their albums.

The most powerful way to fight Beyonceitis is when Beyonce learns the meaning of the words "sit down". Beyonce has been a fast-moving ball of weave and destruction since 2003. After she wraps her 2007 tour this fall Beyonce plans to take time off before pursuing her next film and music projects. Several far less talented acts have decided to use this time to release their albums so expect new music from a number of second rate talent all hoping to get some attention while Beyonce is in hibernation.