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Revision as of 18:59, 2 March 2014 editCloudz679 (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users, Pending changes reviewers136,192 edits reviewing← Previous edit Revision as of 19:15, 2 March 2014 edit undoThe Rambling Man (talk | contribs)Autopatrolled, Extended confirmed users, Page movers, IP block exemptions, New page reviewers, Pending changes reviewers, Rollbackers, Template editors286,429 edits →GA Review: needs more eyesNext edit →
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More later <font face="Century Gothic">]]</font> 18:59, 2 March 2014 (UTC) More later <font face="Century Gothic">]]</font> 18:59, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

====POV====
Please note that phrases like "Quite possibly the greatest season " and "a mere 26" are soaked in ]. I'll happily take a look at the prose after this "review" has concluded, it looks like this review needs another pair of eyes. ] (]) 19:15, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Revision as of 19:15, 2 March 2014

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 18:56, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

First up, the prose review..

Prose review

League

  • that had finished second
  • Don Bould and Ron Fitzgerald returned
  • link half pint of Shandy (assuming that's what it refers to)
  • "the first and only time that the Football League season would start on a midweek date" ref?
  • "They rose to the top of the table by the third game of the season and remained at the summit until the end of the season." had risen, does table need clarification, "At the summit" seems a bit too much
  • The win over Barrow was also notable as three of the opposition eleven were brothers: Jack, Alan and Bert Keen. Is there some hidden significance to this, e.g. was it the first time three brothers had played together in a league match?
  • "their first double of the season" what does double refer to here?
  • "with Jim Elsby standing in for Potts for the first team change in eight games" can you reword, it reads like "first team" change instead of the intended first "team change"
  • I think fivesome doesn't take a hyphen
  • "hit the woodwork" link woodwork?
  • "pounced on a spillage" jargon
  • "Vale were putting clear daylight between themselves and the chasing pack" very metaphorical, sounds like a direct quote
  • "bagged a hat-trick" jargon, link hat-trick in its first mention (above in the pre-season section)
  • £250 fine (a considerable sum for 1953). is there any way to give a modern-day equivalent?
  • link the first mention of penalty/penalty kick
  • "They finished their final seven league games having conceded just two goals." better something like "They conceded just two goals in their final seven league games."
  • "They also recorded a club record low of three league defeats" can you change the verb so it is not the same as the noun?
  • The last para contains they, their, they, they, their, they but no mention of the team by name.

Cup

  • First mention should be Vale/Port Vale, not simply "them"
  • ground out
  • "after their offer was rejected they offered to go higher" again can we have a different noun from the verb, if possible
  • brace should be replaced
  • "Ken Griffiths was unable to recover from a knee injury" ever, or for the match?
  • could you link "long-ball game"?
  • "Former "Valiant" star Ronnie Allen converted the resulting penalty." If Valiant is a nickname for Vale, perhaps it could be introduced earlier in the article.
  • "thanks to a then-record average attendance of 16,702." what kind of record, league, club?
  • "No players of note departed in the summer" which summer?
  • "In July the new stand at Vale Park was completed" which July?
  • another use of brace

More later C679 18:59, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

POV

Please note that phrases like "Quite possibly the greatest season " and "a mere 26" are soaked in point of view. I'll happily take a look at the prose after this "review" has concluded, it looks like this review needs another pair of eyes. The Rambling Man (talk) 19:15, 2 March 2014 (UTC)