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	"I PITY THE FOO' THAT DOESN'T FIX THIS CRAP!"
	Someone help this sucka of a page by rewriting it.
	And make it drink its milk too. Only then can it join The A-Team.

			'''Nerd''' is a term, often bearing a derogatory connotation or ], that refers to a person who passionately pursues ] activities or ] knowledge rather than engaging in more ], such as organized sports. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a ] by peers.

			While the term is nearly synonymous with '']'' or '']'' in reference to passionate intellectual pursuits and social ineptitude, ''nerd'' has the added implication of being affable and amusing.{{Fact\|date=October 2007}}
	Whoops! Maybe you were looking for HowTo:Get Laid?


			== Etymology ==
	“Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, All my base are belong to you!”
			The word "nerd" first appeared as the name of an imaginary animal in ] book ] (]), in which the narrator Gerald McGrew claims that he would collect "a Nerkle, a Nerd, and a Seersucker too" for his imaginary zoo.<ref>], '']'', p. 47, Random House Books for Young Readers, New York, 1950</ref> The ] meaning of the term dates back to ], when ] magazine reported on its popular use in ].<ref>'']'' (1951-10-8), p. 16</ref> By the early ], usage of the term had spread throughout the United States and even as far as Scotland.<ref>Gregory J. Marsh in Special Collections at the ] library as reported in (1990-6-28) Vol. 4, No. 0235.</ref><ref>Glasgow, Scotland, ''Sunday Mail'' (1957-2-10)</ref> Throughout this first decade, the definition—a dull person—remained constant and was, at the time, a synonym for "]" or "]." It was only later, in the 1970s, that the word took on connotations of bookishness and ].

			An alternate spelling, as ''nurd'', also began to appear in the mid-1960s or early 70s.<ref>''Current Slang: A Quarterly Glossary of Slang Expressions Currently In Use'' (1971), Vol. V, No. 4, Spring 1971, p. 17 </ref> Author ] claims to have coined this spelling in 1973, but its first recorded use appeared in a 1965 student publication at ].<ref>Personal Correspondence (1973-9-4) reported on </ref><ref>RPI ''Bachelor'' (1965), V14 #1</ref> ] there holds that the word is derived from "knurd" ("]" spelled backwards), which was used to describe people who studied rather than partied. If true, then usage of the word "knurd" at RPI predates ]'s coinage of the same term in his ] series of novels. On the other hand, the variant "gnurd" was in wide use at the ] throughout the first half of the 1970s.
	~ Some Male Nerd on How to pick up female nerds

			Other theories of the word's origin suggest that it may derive from ], ] ventriloquist dummy, or the ] labs in ] (now ]). The ] speculates that the word is an alteration of the 1940s term ''nert'' (meaning "stupid or crazy person"), which is itself an alteration of "]."<ref>''The Online Etymology Dictionary.'' "Nerd." </ref> Finally, it is possible that "nerd" is an abbreviation of the English phrase "ne'er do well."{{Fact\|date=September 2007}}
	“Lemme in through ur tunnel frm de undrgrond, aka ur C drive :P, alrite, l8r.”

			==Nerds and Asperger syndrome==
	~ An Average Male Nerd on How to pick up your nerdy friends computers
			Many traits associated with the nerd stereotype—an unusual penchant for accumulating highly specialized or technical knowledge, impaired social ability, and/or occasionally poor ]—are characteristics of ], an ]. The existence of the nerd concept in the popular consciousness may be attributed to ] between certain behavioral and cognitive predispositions, which at the extreme results in forms of ]. Studies using the ] (AQ), a measure of autistic tendencies, find that occupations commonly linked to the nerd stereotype are associated with elevated AQ, with the highest average AQ seen among computer scientists, mathematicians and physicists.<ref>S. Baron-Cohen, S. Wheelwright, R. Skinner, J. Martin and E. Clubley, , ''Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders'' '''31''', 5-17 (2001)</ref> Other studies have found associations between heightened AQ and prenatal ] exposure as well as genetic factors, suggesting a distinct genetic and developmental basis for traits associated with the nerd stereotype.<ref>Rebecca Knickmeyer, Simon Baron-Cohen, Briony A. Fane, Sally Wheelwright, Greta A. Mathews, Gerard S. Conway, Charles G.D. Brook and Melissa Hines. Androgens and autistic traits: A study of individuals with congenital adrenal hyperplasia. ''Hormones and Behavior'', '''50''', 148-153 (2006)</ref><ref>Francesca Happe, Patrick Bolton, Lee M. Butcher, et al. Genetic heterogeneity between the three components of the autism spectrum: a twin study. ''Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry'' '''45''':691 (2006)</ref>

			==Contemporary pride==
			In the 1984 film ], starring ] and ], Carradine in particular worked to embody the nerd stereotype and, in doing so, helped create a definitive image.{{Fact\|date=September 2007}} Additionally, the storyline presaged, and may have helped inspire, the "nerd pride" that emerged in the 1990s. '']'' regular ] claims this was the movie that inspired him to become "The Genuine Nerd from ]."<ref>{{Citation \| last = Hensley \| first = Dennis \| author-link = http://www.dennishensley.com \| title = Revenge of the nerd: American Splendor's Toby Radloff is out and proud about his sexuality and his nerddom \| magazine = The Advocate \|date=2003-09-02 \| url = http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1589/is_2003_Sept_2/ai_110737685}}</ref> Many seem to share Radloff's view, as "nerd pride" has become more widespread in the years since. ] professor ], for example, seeks to instill pride in nerds:

			<blockquote>"My idea is to present an image to children that it is good to be intellectual, and not to care about the peer pressures to be anti-intellectual. I want every child to turn into a nerd - where that means someone who prefers studying and learning to competing for social dominance, which can unfortunately cause the downward spiral into social rejection."</blockquote>
	A nerd gettin' crunk at a dance, with his twelve-year-old sister.
			:: — Gerald Sussman, quoted by Katie Hafner, '']'', ] ]
	A nerd gettin' crunk at a dance, with his twelve-year-old sister.
	For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Misplaced Pages have an article about Nerds.

			The popular computer-news website ] uses the ] "News for nerds. Stuff that matters." Similarly, the ] quote "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one" has been popularized on the Internet and incorrectly attributed to ].<ref>{{Citation \| last = Mikkelson \| first = Barbara \| last2 = Mikkelson \| first2 = David P. \| title = Some Rules Kids Won't Learn in School \| year = 2000 \| url = http://www.snopes.com/language/document/liferule.asp \| accessdate = 2007-07-22 }}</ref> In ], ] has been observed on ] since 2006.{{Fact\|date=September 2007}

	A nerd (homo intelligencia, floro sapiens, or virginus nerdius) is a member of an odd species known for it's love of computers, bad fashion sense, and inability to communicate with members of the opposite sex. While some lucky individuals are born nerds, the rest of us have to make an effort to evolve into nerds.
	Contents


			In mass media, n episode from the animated series ], titled "Nerdator," includes the use of nerds to power the mind of a ]-like enemy, who delivers a memorable monologue on the importance of nerds:{{Fact\|date=May 2007}}
	* 1 History
	* 2 The Nerd
	o 2.1 Eating Habits
	o 2.2 Habitat
	o 2.3 Lifestyle
	o 2.4 Nerd To English Translation
	o 2.5 Religion
	* 3 Nerds and race
	* 4 Nerds and S.E.X.
	* 5 Definition of safe sex for Nerds
	* 6 Predators of the Nerd
	* 7 Protection from Nerds
	* 8 Common Nerd-spotting Mistakes
	* 9 Nerds vs. Geeks
	* 10 See also

			:"…what they lack in physical strength they make up in brain power. Who writes all the best selling books? Nerds. Who directs the top grossing ] movies? Nerds. Who creates the highly advanced technology that only they can understand? ...Nerds. And who are the people who run for the high office of the Presidency? No one but nerds."
	History

			Additionally, the Danish reality TV show ], known in the internationally franchised format as ], established a format wherein a team of nerds, after two or three months of training, competes with a professional ] team.
	“Who? Me?”

			Finally, ] is a genre of hip hop music that has risen in popularity over the last few years, often expressing nerd themes with pride and humor. Notable artists include ], ], ], ], and ]. ] has also recorded "]". The term "nerdcore" has seen wider application to refer to ] (most notably ], ], ], and ]) and other media that express nerd themes uninhibited.{{Fact\|date=May 2007}}
	~ Oscar Wilde on Nerd

			==Notes and references==
	The first recorded nerds were discovered in Ancient Rome, they werent too succesful as they had no computers to live beside and no basement to live in until the age of 45
			{{reflist\|2}}
	Don't trust this man.
	Don't trust this man.

			==See also==
	In the beginning, there was Bill Gates, and Bill Gates said "let there be porn!" So, he hired Al Gore to find someone to create the internet and take all the credit later on... and so there was the Internet. Then, Bill Gates made the nerd, in his own likeness...
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* ]
			* '']'', a short film about Nerds
			* '']'', a ] film about college nerds' revenge on the jocks
			* '']''
			* ]
			* '']'', a song by ]

			==Further reading==
	The Nerds all descend from a gifted group of data files that was downloaded by GodSHERIDANPEAK!!! in 1982 to a computer classroom in Lincoln NE. The original seven Nerds each represented a different pillar of nerdiness.
			* Tocci, Jason. "" (Paper given at the . PDF, 180kb).
			* Kendall, Lori. "'The Nerd Within': Mass Media and the Negotiation of Identity Among Computer-Using Men." '']'', 7(3) (1999): 353-69.
			* Kendall, Lori. "Nerd Nation: Images of Nerds in U.S. Popular Culture." ''International Journal of Cultural Studies'', Vol. 2, No. 2, 260-283 (1999)
			* Kendall, Lori. "'Oh No! I'm a Nerd!': Hegemonic Masculinity on an Online Forum." ''Gender & Society'', 14 (2) (2000): 256-274.

			===Female nerds===
	They are, from left to right
			* Bucholtz, Mary. ""Why be normal?": Language and identity practices in a community of nerd girls." ''Language in Society'' (1999), 28: 203-223. Cambridge University Press.
			* Newitz, A. & Anders, C. (Eds) ''She's Such a Geek: Women Write About Science, Technology, and Other Nerdy Stuff''. Seal Press, 2006.

			===In Japan===
	* 50 Gig,
			* '''' (PDF, 366kb). Japan, 2004.
	* Dvorak,
			* Okada, Toshio. ''Otaku Gaku Nyumon'' (Translated: 'Introduction to ]ology'). Ohta Verlag. Tokyo, 1996.
	* Princess Sierra Ascii,
	* Celeron,
	* Centrino,
	* Konqueror,
	* Atari 2600

			===Substantial cinema-released documentaries===
	It should also be noted that in 2003, four fourth grade nerds banded together and made a group called N.A.S.A., an acronym of their four names that reflected their nerdiness. They proclaimed themselves the Lords of the Nerds in their school. Unfortunately, this would not last. They got split apart when they went to middle school, where only two have not gone to the cool side, as they called it. Now, though the two survivors have formed another, unnamed group with more nerds and geeks of unimaginable power. But this is just a rumor, a myth. No one knows for sure if they are real.
			* '''' (2004) (A feature-length documentary on U.S. fanzine editors).
	The Nerd
			* '''' (2006) (Feature-length documentary on Toby Radloff).
	Nerds in the 1970's.
	Nerds in the 1970's.

			===Background material===
	Nerds are a sub-species of the genus Homo Sapiens Nerdicus. They are much like miniature humans, with long gangly arms, short thin legs, and large limpid pools for eyes (much like Gollum). Many nerds also have a hunch, which is developed from living in their parents attic or basement for many years. Nerds can also be distinguished by their terrible facial acne, elongated heads and glasses.
			* Frayling, Christopher. ''Mad, Bad And Dangerous?: The Scientist and the Cinema''. Reaktion Books, 2005.

			==External links==
			<!-- Wikipedians: because of recent spam-links (a form of Misplaced Pages vandalism), please discuss external links on the talk page first. Thanks. -->
			{{cleanup-spam}}
			* A discussion forum for nerds.
			* An essay by Paul Graham about the conformist society in American highschools.
			* A short description of the differences between geeks and nerds.
			* , an article in the ]

			]
	Except for the noble few (some 1 out of 6 Billions) who can make himself the richest guy out of his nerdish genius, most nerds are miserably regarded by other people as somewhat between a full-fledged cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corners of the mouth when people get really thirsty.
			]
			]
			]
			]

			]
	Nerdic fashion can be frightening in the first encounter. Trousers are worn around the midsection rather than the hips. This is because nerds actually lack hips of any sort; instead they have hinges attaching legs to pelvis. The odd, shambling gait of Nerdkind is attributed to this, as they can only throw their legs forward rather than walk. Nerds generally wear shirts or t-shirts. Shirts will be tucked into the waist, and secured by a faux-leather belt. T-shirts will generally bear a hideously unfunny joke, comprehensible only to other nerds, or a Dungeons and Dragons logo.
			]
	This cat is claimed to be the oldest cat known to nerds.
			]
	This cat is claimed to be the oldest cat known to nerds.
			]

			]
	Nerd clothing can be used to distinguish the two kinds of nerd. The clothes of the nerd which lives away from its parents will be stained, as nerds have no knowledge whatsoever of laundry. The clothes of the nerd still living with his parents will be clean, ironed and starched, limiting the movement of these nerds.
			]
	Eating Habits
			]

			]
	Most nerds live off a diet of ordered fast-food and nik-naks, as they dare not venture far from their nest. Nerds have a unique stomach: it digests only a fraction of all eaten food and bypasses protein completely*. This is why nerds are skinny and have massively underdeveloped physiques. Nerds also miss many essential vitamins from only eating fast food, which is why their skin is so pale, and many develop scurvy.
			]

			]
	* It should be noted some nerds lose their ability to bypass protein completely. They become large and will never mate. These nerds should be treated as if they were grues, except that kittens have no effect on them. They will, however, use you to fill their rather large appetite if you're not careful. Only an experienced blackbelt should approach them, as they are the only ones who know how to avoid letting the nerd turn his weight against them.
			]

			]
	* It should also be noted that on rare occasions, a condition called Weirdis paradoxis transcendental thinneningis can occur when the nerd loses the ability to lose the ability to bypass protein. The nerd stays thin, but develops strange forehead ridges, abnormal ear growth, muscle growth and repeatedly tries to order a strange imaginary foodstuff known only as gagh from takeaways.
			]

			]
	Habitat
			]
	I think he likes you...
			]
	I think he likes you...
			]

			]
	Nerds will set up a nest in their chosen residence, which will be either in student accommodation with other nerds (such as the chess club) or in their parents' house. Nerd nests are very dark, as all windows will be covered, and dominated mainly by a computer, where a Nerd will spend most of his 'life'. Nerd nests can be dangerous; anyone who touches the computer of a Nerd will be attacked most viciously with staple guns, water pistols, rock-solid chess pieces or the nerds mouths - many Nerds are rabid so if you are bitten by a Nerd you should see a doctor immediately. Other hallmarks of a Nerd nest are fast food containers, hand-knitted sweaters, computer magazines, rare comic books, lots of sticky porn magazines, and a heap of scrunched-up paper which the Nerd will sleep on.
			]

	Nerds are native to several locations including Slashdot, Kuro5hin, Seattle, Uncyclopedia... yes, you are on the way of becoming a nerd yourself.

	POLITE, BUT FAIRLY STERN WARNING: If you suspect you are becoming a nerd, contact a doctor immediately. If you don't you will experience the following symptoms:

	* Walking down the high street past the TV shop and press your nose against the glass for a few seconds to watch Star Trek.
	* Spending hours in your local comic book store to find the one (insert name of collector's comic book series) comic that you do not currently own.
	* Feeling an odd attraction to any woman to have ever played any role on Star Trek
	* Renting Battlestar Galactica.
	* Stating that becoming a level seven dungeon master is the greatest achievement of your life
	o Knowing that dungeon master don't have levels
	* Registering to become a member of Startrek.com.
	* Attempting to create the Matrix
	* Joining the chess team, then crying to your mommy when a pawn gets taken
	* Editing Misplaced Pages, unless you are vandalizing it to make it more funny

	At this point, the person your friends and family previously knew will be lost forever, disappearing within the barren wastes of his now-Vulcan cerebral cortex.
	Lifestyle
	A typical black Nerd.
	A typical black Nerd.

	Nerds are semi-nocturnal creatures, and will sleep for a few hours during the day before returning to their computer. The majority of the time a Nerd spends on his/her computer will be on internet forums, where they will sneer at everything they consider to be of a lower class than them, which, they believe, is everything. And when they carry out vocal conversation with other nerds, if any at all, they would inevitably sneer at everyone whose speciality is of a lower class than their art of programming, which they also believe everything is; an exception to this is when they are talking with non-nerds, whom they will never have the balls to attack in real life.

	Despite their being defenceless against non-nerds, these "uncool bastards" will nevertheless be regarded as losers who are too stupid and pathetic to understand the higher human truth shared by the Nerd community, a place where these blasphemers would suffer from eternal damnation (for example, in an Internet forum); the effects of this damnation in real life are still in question, though. Many Nerds have put forward theories that Nerdom is the highest state of being, which have later proved to be wrong.

	The social life of the Nerd consists of e-mailing other Nerds (using internally programmed toasters), school/college/university, and the single out-nest meeting place of Nerds, comic book stores. Many nerds are also to be found in stores such as "LEGEND", "MYTHOLOGY", "BEST BUY", or "TOYS 'R' US". Sometimes, Nerds hang out in the baby's section in the local store, claiming to "want to fit in. Most of the time, nerds talk in their widely accepted language of binary. This continues to baffle leading experts on nerdology. The other pastime of the Nerd is playing Dungeons and Dragons, which is a board game mainly consisting of imagining things, and has been condemned by the Catholic Church as being an introduction to the Dark Arts, and that all who play will burn in Heck. Often, they will claim to be superior by being a level 62 dragon-knight with mithril-plated boots in various games.

	Often Nerds have loads of friends (on their favourite games). These games can be World of Warcraft, RuneScape, Diablo 2, Half Life 2 Deathmatch and Lineage 2. These friends are frequently NPC's or other Nerds. Most Nerds take pride in having a level 62 dragon-knight with mithril-plated boots that they spent 47,268 hours on getting for a couple pixels.

	Of course, they are forced to use Internet porn most/all of the time.
	Nerd To English Translation

	LOL- Laugh out loud: happy, meant to be laughing when they in all likely hood arent even smiling. LMAO- Laughing my ass off smilar to above, but maybe a twing eof a smile is present. WTF- Nerd confuddled. ROFL- Rolling on the floor laffing, chances are they are still sitting on their computer chair. SHNC- very rare, super hot nerd chick quite frankly you're more likely to find a unicorn then one of these
	Religion

	Primary Religion: Most nerds are atheists, and feel the need to balance out Jehovah's witnesses by constantly trying to shove atheism down your face, and you must spell atheism right too or L2P nub.


	As secondary religions:

	The majority of Nerds are believers of Star Trek, a mysterious religion based around an old space expedition. Nerds will flock thousandfold to conventions, where they will dress up as their Gods and perform strange and terrible rituals. There is no official head of the Nerd religion, though the announcer at the convention is treated as a nominal leader. The God Spock is thought of as the ideal for all Nerds, none of whom ever attain such a state. Interestingly, all Nerds are secretly attracted to the Goddess Captain Janeway. Other than that, Eastern Orthodox or Judaism are the religions of choice. There also have been known cases of satan worship among nerds who play D&D. Lately, Nerds have been found to be obeying Draenism, which is done by playing World of Warcraft 13 hours a day.They can also be christian, but they incorporate startreck lore into the bible. for instance, when jesus died a final time after the resurection, christian nerds refer to this as the "great beaming." The entity that performed this feat is known as the archangel Scotty.
	Nerds and race

	The nerdish race was a term used by the populations of both Nerds and non-nerds. While the Nerds use it as a symbol of their self-proclaimed technical superiority, the non-nerds deem it more appropriate to use it to classify the Nerds out of their community.

	Many Nerds envisage a day, most probably inspired by science fiction which sets the stage at 40,000 AD, when the nerdish race becomes the only race capable of creating and maintaining culture and civilization, while other races such as the "handsome race" and the "socially presentable race", will be barely able to sustain their lives without help from the Nerds. Many books and movies have put forward this glorious vision of their future; most notably, The Revenge of the Nerds.
	Nerds and S.E.X.
	Building your own girlfriend, a dream which has been pursued for centuries.
	Building your own girlfriend, a dream which has been pursued for centuries.

	It is a commonly held misconception that nerds have zero sex drive, as all the hormones in their bodies escape through burst pimples and evaporates into the surrounding air. In truth, the Nerd is merely a painfully shy beast incapable of communications with the opposite sex unless helped by prodigious amounts of alcohol (half a lager for their standards). This handicap is exacerbated by the fact that the nerd who manages to actually flirt with a woman will almost always be rejected due to his skeletal physique/acne/Dungeons and Dragons anecdotes/fully-erect penis the size of a housefly. This is in fact a sad situation as, once house-trained, a Nerd will often make a loyal and loving companion for a young lady. The closest they usually come to this is fantasizing of their God (Spock) or Goddess (Captain Janeway).

	On the rare chance a nerd mates it's usually with a female nerd specimen. They do not have sexual intercourse due to size of sexual organs, thus they have "verbal sex" or over the internet "cyber sex". Both of their IP addresses then (L2P Nub) merge and go into a cybernetic fetal stage. The baby then springs circular from the disk drive of the mother and rapidly grows and changes shape. The offspring are known as nerdlings and develop into full nerds upon adolescence. However, even among nerds this is rare because female nerds are nigh-upon nonexistant and there are no girls on the internet. Not to mention that the mating rituals involve complicated application of charm spells, which a nerd's natural instincts will repel against because they represent a form of commitment.
	Definition of safe sex for Nerds

	Contrary to popular belief, Nerds do in fact need sex. Due to their unique genetic nature, their sex partners are almost always their computers and moist towelettes. During their sexual arousal, their faces will undergo muscle restructuring and their facial Nerd characteristics will automatically manifest themselves such that they look like having suffered from extreme fire burn. Reports from the latest research showed that some 30% of Nerds do cry out during orgasm, which is effectively their only chances of practicing their vocal folds, while the remaining 70% who survive to the age where they are capable of ejaculation have already lost their oral speaking abilities or have finally realised nobody listens to them, and have stopped talking completly.

	For Nerds, their definition of safe sex is a bit different from others'. For them, safe sex is when they jerk off with a clean moist towel, while unsafe sex is widely regarded as jerking off with a rotten moist towel stained with sperm from last week (or last hour) or those used by other Nerds in their village-like community. And hey to you josh
	Predators of the Nerd

	The main natural predator of the Nerd is the bully. Nerds live in perpetual fear of bullies, and will scuttle from dark corner to dark corner when they leave the nest. Bullies can sniff out a Nerd from two-hundred metres, as the Nerd releases a hormonal chemical called geekisterone when they sweat, speak, and or urinate. The only way nerds can fight back is on-line. The Nerds usually become administrators of various on-line activities where they take revenge on the bullies. For example Uncyclopedia, and it's lame satire Misplaced Pages, were established so that Nerds will be able to delete whatever the bullies have written, while referring to some obscure "law of Uncyclopedia".
	NERD HELL
	NERD HELL

	hello josh f its justin on the laptop
	Protection from Nerds

	When confronted by an angry nerd (for breaking one of its warhammer pieces, hacking it's runescape account etc.), always remember to make as little physical contact as possible - nerds can be rabid, sweaty, smelly, diseased, or they may even have a lifesize figure of the Star Trek spaceship, fully eqipped with all its weapons/shields. If you have a porno mag, old comic, packet of nik naks etc. spare, then you may wish to offer this to the nerd as a peace offering. If not, try to escape (anywhere with daylight is good). If this deems impossible, simply wedgie them or tell them that their science project sucks, which will likely lower their self-confidence back down where it belongs. While the nerd mopes, make your getaway.
	Common Nerd-spotting Mistakes

	When a nerdwatcher spots a Nerd wandering down the street he has to make sure that the nerd is an actual nerd and not a Geek. Geeks are a subspecies of Nerd with a lower IQ rating, and are smaller, more frail, and more acne-covered than nerds. The best test of true Nerd or Geek is to check the nest.

	The Geek nest is grungy, dark and rank, and will feature a large selection of books, and a chemistry set as well as a computer. The proper Nerd's nest is probably Misplaced Pages. Another outstanding feature of a Geek that separates it from the true Nerds is that Geeks, especially of the Pencil Neck variety, are often hunted by professional wrestler Classie Freddie Blassie, who once swore to kill all grit-eatin', scum-suckin', dirty smelly pepper-bellied cotton-pickin' freaks (Pencil Neck Geeks).

	Unfortunately, due to global warming, pollution and other mystirous circumstances a further sub-species of Geek has emerged. This form of Geek once resembled a human but the lure of a glowing computer screen and the seeming elusive "coolness" forced them into harmful activities such as Counter-Strike and in a ever downward spiral they find themselves playing World of Warcraft and/or Dungeons and Dragons. These beings may resemble humans to a certain extent, but simply mention one of their fetish-games around them and you will see what they truly are.

	There are also many misconceptions as to what classes of Nerds there are. Class 3 Nerds are the lesser evolved and are usually found in the footsteps of a Class 1 or 2 Nerd. Class 3 Nerds have no common sense, but alas common sense isn't that common anymore. Class 2 Nerds are those whose life's purpose is to become the ultimate Nerd or Class 1 Nerd. The ultimate Nerd is someone who will get into arguments with others such as "Everyone knows you at least need a hyper drive to outrun the Millenium Falcon" and "The star ship Enterprise has some serious design flaws that could be fixed with a simple antimatter globaldiscombobulation device". Class 1 Nerds will spend hours at a time constantly rearranging their magic deck to better trick the opponent. They have been found to draw immaculate paintings which apparently say " I love my spleen!".

	Luckily, Glamour magazine has published some tips on being nerdy. Below are a few of the suggestions they made for those individuals looking to be called a Nerd:


	1. Style - dress like you don't care. Girls like you because of your natural sex-appeal (although your ninja fashion sense is highly erotic)
	2. Social - read Slashdot a lot. The chicks dig it
	3. Money - spend it all on hardware and D&D-rulebooks (chicks dig the expenditure of money.)

	Nerds vs. Geeks

	UPDATE-

	The Term Geek, as apposed to nerd, in the modern world, may apply to any normal human of which are mid way between being a nerd and a "cool person". This delicate balance is withheld by the modern geeks determination to fit in to many worlds, and to be the bridge between the social gap. Many geeks in the modern world have aspects of both lives, while they may enjoy wallowing in the odd computer related activity, they also have a social side, and one that does not only include the company of other nerds. Many geeks these days are often considered attractive/cute/funny/sexy etc etc by the opposite sex, of which we are talking about "normal" females, and not NERD females. The reason for this is because of their compassionate loving sense, along with the manly sense of being. It is also because they are fed up of the typical steriotyped males of today, Chavs, Pikeys etc. Geeks of today are well rounded, normal people.

	!!!OLD INFORMATION FROM THE DAYS OF THE 90's!!! : (There is a whole section on the battle Nerds vs. Geeks. There has been a long waged war of nerds versus the geeks. The 1000 year war has, so far, had over one trillion dollars in damages and 6 known deaths. The death of Steve Irwin is currently being investigated after the years old debate on whether his show "The Crocodile Hunter" was of the nerd, geek, loser, or the dork category. Most of the nerdologist and geekologist have been questioning the family of the stingray that stabbed him.

	To make sure one last fucking time that you know what the difference between a geek and a nerd is, nerds are simply lone, highly intelligent beings. Nerds spend their time creating new technology, such as the computer. Nerds do not seem to be interested in video games or a certain comic or even anything other than science. Geeks, however, are socializing creatures(only successfully sociable with other geeks though), and they are devoted to a certain club or only play video games and spend their time on Uncyclopedia. Geeks are actually a genetic family. There are different species of geeks, such as the listed: band geek, World of Warcraft geek, anime geek, Trekkie, Trakkie, Star Wars geek, and the classical geek.

	Each faction has their own strengths. The nerds have high ranking IQ's and are able to engineer mind games stronger than the average 16 sided Rubic cubes. The geeks have the advantage of their own well structured hierarchy, with Grand Wizard Level 140 as their supreme ruler before their supreme god J.K. Rowling. Rowling has not shown divine interest with the geeks since their creation in the year 451 B.C. Though, they have their weaknesses. Nerds do not have the ability to socialize at all, even with other nerds. This has given geeks the impression that all nerds are just as frail as them, making them easy targets for an ambush with their palidans as a group. Though, it has been seen several times through history, in rare, outrageous situations the nerds will actually band together to create something similar to Optimus Prime. Last time this happened was in the post World War IV era whenever the empire of Taiwan was destroyed, which was one of the worlds largest suppliers of robots.

	The war of the nerds and geeks continues to be written. Arnold Schwarzenegger is rumoured to star in the war(we can only hope).


	Note- Deranged scientists that actually study geeks and nerds have recently stated that they are seeing a new cross-breed of both factions, whose name is yet to be decided. Preliminary research shows that they can converse among their own kind, but yet also are extremely intelligent. Very few reports of this unnatural phenomenon are recorded, and strangely, nobody has been able to locate any of the scientists behind these reports. Whether they will eventually rule the world or be crushed by the two original factions has yet to be determined.

	Note- The war between geeks and nerds will probably end when World of Warcraft or Star Trek gets blown off the face of the earth, but then there's always the consequence of them blaming each other for this and then blowing each other up.
	See also

	* Nerdiness
	* Bill Gates
	* Fanboy
	* Band geeks
	* Geeks
	* Uncyclopedia Writer
	* Chocolicousistic
	* HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd
	* Linus Torvalds
	* Steve Jobs


	MATH N' SHIT
	Numbers Numbers · NUMB3RS · Numbers of the Alphabet · Roman numerals · Zero · 0.999... · 4/0 · 9/11 · More than one · Million · Sextillion · Eleventy billion · Pi · Evil Pi · Sigma
	Operators Addition · = · An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters · Imaginary Number
	Devices Abacus · Slide rule · Calculator
	Theorems & Axioms Theorem · All numbers are equal to zero() · PI equals exactly three() · Fermat's Penultimate Theorem() · Fermat's Last Theorem · Cauchy's theorem · Trichotomy · Extreme Value Theorem() · Euclid's Axioms · Hilbert's Hotel
	People Alan Turing · Nerds · Asians · Mathematician · Mathemagician
	Fields of Mathematics
	Quantity Integer · Negative numbers · Negative Numbers · Irrational numbers · Complex numbers · Edible numbers() · Gay Numbers() · Fibonacci Sequence
	Structure Binary Mathematics · Arithmetic · Pre-Algebra · Alegebra · Al Gebra · Equation · Linear Algebra · Linear Algebra in nature · Boolean Logic
	Space Geometry · Trigonometry · Sine · Fractal
	Change Calculus · Integral · Derivative · Vector calculus
	Foundations and philosophy Logic · Modal logic
	Applied mathematics Statistics · Random Statistics()· Game theory · Probability Theory · Generic Theory of Probably Something() · laws of physics
	Other freaky math fields Intelligent Math · Bush Math · Extreme mathematics · New Math · Newmath · Nude math · Rumsfeldian Mathematics · Silly math
	unclassified links Einstein's Malicious Theories · First numbers · Fourier Transform · Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia · How to Divide by Zero · HowTo:Divide by One · Intermediate algebra · It doesn't matter what your answer is so long as you feel good about it math · Laplace transform · The largest number · Mathematics is wrong · Monty Hall problem · Multivariable Calculus · Nullity · Numerology · Odd · Oodles · Paradox (Achilles and the Tortoise) · Prime number · Proof · Property of 5 · Recursive · Tangent · The Quantity 2 plus 4 times y = Your Mom · Ti-83 · Transcendental curve
	Glossary of mathematical terms
	RANDOM MATH

	v • d • e

	Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/Nerds"

	Categories: Rewrite/Medium \| Rewrite \| Oscar Wildeizms \| Mathematics \| Things that are definitely out to get you \| Virgins

Revision as of 13:57, 11 November 2007

For other uses, see Nerd (disambiguation).

Nerd is a term, often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities or esoteric knowledge rather than engaging in more social activities, such as organized sports. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers.

While the term is nearly synonymous with dork or geek in reference to passionate intellectual pursuits and social ineptitude, nerd has the added implication of being affable and amusing.

Etymology

The word "nerd" first appeared as the name of an imaginary animal in Dr. Seuss's book If I Ran the Zoo (1950), in which the narrator Gerald McGrew claims that he would collect "a Nerkle, a Nerd, and a Seersucker too" for his imaginary zoo. The slang meaning of the term dates back to 1951, when Newsweek magazine reported on its popular use in Detroit, Michigan. By the early 1960s, usage of the term had spread throughout the United States and even as far as Scotland. Throughout this first decade, the definition—a dull person—remained constant and was, at the time, a synonym for "square" or "drip." It was only later, in the 1970s, that the word took on connotations of bookishness and social ineptitude.

An alternate spelling, as nurd, also began to appear in the mid-1960s or early 70s. Author Philip K. Dick claims to have coined this spelling in 1973, but its first recorded use appeared in a 1965 student publication at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. Oral tradition there holds that the word is derived from "knurd" ("drunk" spelled backwards), which was used to describe people who studied rather than partied. If true, then usage of the word "knurd" at RPI predates Terry Pratchett's coinage of the same term in his Discworld series of novels. On the other hand, the variant "gnurd" was in wide use at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology throughout the first half of the 1970s.

Other theories of the word's origin suggest that it may derive from Mortimer Snerd, Edgar Bergen's ventriloquist dummy, or the Northern Electric Research and Development labs in Ontario (now Nortel). The Online Etymology Dictionary speculates that the word is an alteration of the 1940s term nert (meaning "stupid or crazy person"), which is itself an alteration of "nut." Finally, it is possible that "nerd" is an abbreviation of the English phrase "ne'er do well."

Nerds and Asperger syndrome

Many traits associated with the nerd stereotype—an unusual penchant for accumulating highly specialized or technical knowledge, impaired social ability, and/or occasionally poor motor coordination—are characteristics of Asperger syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder. The existence of the nerd concept in the popular consciousness may be attributed to covariance between certain behavioral and cognitive predispositions, which at the extreme results in forms of autism. Studies using the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ), a measure of autistic tendencies, find that occupations commonly linked to the nerd stereotype are associated with elevated AQ, with the highest average AQ seen among computer scientists, mathematicians and physicists. Other studies have found associations between heightened AQ and prenatal testosterone exposure as well as genetic factors, suggesting a distinct genetic and developmental basis for traits associated with the nerd stereotype.

Contemporary pride

In the 1984 film Revenge of the Nerds, starring Robert Carradine and Anthony Edwards, Carradine in particular worked to embody the nerd stereotype and, in doing so, helped create a definitive image. Additionally, the storyline presaged, and may have helped inspire, the "nerd pride" that emerged in the 1990s. American Splendor regular Toby Radloff claims this was the movie that inspired him to become "The Genuine Nerd from Cleveland, Ohio." Many seem to share Radloff's view, as "nerd pride" has become more widespread in the years since. MIT professor Gerald Sussman, for example, seeks to instill pride in nerds:

"My idea is to present an image to children that it is good to be intellectual, and not to care about the peer pressures to be anti-intellectual. I want every child to turn into a nerd - where that means someone who prefers studying and learning to competing for social dominance, which can unfortunately cause the downward spiral into social rejection."

— Gerald Sussman, quoted by Katie Hafner, The New York Times, 29 August 1993

The popular computer-news website Slashdot uses the tagline "News for nerds. Stuff that matters." Similarly, the Charles J. Sykes quote "Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one" has been popularized on the Internet and incorrectly attributed to Bill Gates. In Spain, Nerd Pride Day has been observed on May 25 since 2006.{{Fact|date=September 2007}

In mass media, n episode from the animated series Freakazoid, titled "Nerdator," includes the use of nerds to power the mind of a Predator-like enemy, who delivers a memorable monologue on the importance of nerds:

"…what they lack in physical strength they make up in brain power. Who writes all the best selling books? Nerds. Who directs the top grossing Hollywood movies? Nerds. Who creates the highly advanced technology that only they can understand? ...Nerds. And who are the people who run for the high office of the Presidency? No one but nerds."

Additionally, the Danish reality TV show FC Zulu, known in the internationally franchised format as FC Nerds, established a format wherein a team of nerds, after two or three months of training, competes with a professional soccer team.

Finally, Nerdcore hip hop is a genre of hip hop music that has risen in popularity over the last few years, often expressing nerd themes with pride and humor. Notable artists include MC Plus+, MC Hawking, MC Lars, MC Chris, and MC Frontalot. "Weird Al" Yankovic has also recorded "White and Nerdy". The term "nerdcore" has seen wider application to refer to webcomics (most notably Penny Arcade, User Friendly, PvP, and Megatokyo) and other media that express nerd themes uninhibited.

Notes and references

Geisel, Theodor Seuss, If I Ran the Zoo, p. 47, Random House Books for Young Readers, New York, 1950
Newsweek (1951-10-8), p. 16
Gregory J. Marsh in Special Collections at the Swarthmore College library as reported in Humanist Discussion Group (1990-6-28) Vol. 4, No. 0235.
Glasgow, Scotland, Sunday Mail (1957-2-10)
Current Slang: A Quarterly Glossary of Slang Expressions Currently In Use (1971), Vol. V, No. 4, Spring 1971, p. 17
Personal Correspondence (1973-9-4) reported on the web
RPI Bachelor (1965), V14 #1
The Online Etymology Dictionary. "Nerd."
S. Baron-Cohen, S. Wheelwright, R. Skinner, J. Martin and E. Clubley, The Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) : Evidence from Asperger Syndrome/High Functioning Autism, Males and Females, Scientists and Mathematicians, Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders 31, 5-17 (2001)
Rebecca Knickmeyer, Simon Baron-Cohen, Briony A. Fane, Sally Wheelwright, Greta A. Mathews, Gerard S. Conway, Charles G.D. Brook and Melissa Hines. Androgens and autistic traits: A study of individuals with congenital adrenal hyperplasia. Hormones and Behavior, 50, 148-153 (2006)
Francesca Happe, Patrick Bolton, Lee M. Butcher, et al. Genetic heterogeneity between the three components of the autism spectrum: a twin study. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 45:691 (2006)
Hensley, Dennis (2003-09-02), "Revenge of the nerd: American Splendor's Toby Radloff is out and proud about his sexuality and his nerddom", The Advocate {{citation}}: Check |author-link= value (help); External link in |author-link= (help)
Mikkelson, Barbara; Mikkelson, David P. (2000), Some Rules Kids Won't Learn in School, retrieved 2007-07-22

External links

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NerdPoint A discussion forum for nerds.
"Why Nerds are Unpopular" An essay by Paul Graham about the conformist society in American highschools.
Wikihow.com A short description of the differences between geeks and nerds.
"The Nerds have won", an article in the American Scientist

Categories:

Revision as of 13:57, 11 November 2007

Etymology

Nerds and Asperger syndrome

Contemporary pride

Notes and references

See also

Further reading

Female nerds

In Japan

Substantial cinema-released documentaries

Background material

External links