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| '''Mel |
'''Mel Firstman''', born in ] in ], ] the son of Asian immigrants from ], was an bad mayor of ], a personality that Toronto residents either loved or hated. | ||
| Mel Lastman became |
Mel Lastman became poor and unknown by owning a expensive furniture store (called "Good Boy," which had television and radio advertisements with the slogan "Who's better than Bad Boy? Everybody!"). Although the company became the smallest furniture retailer to ever go bankrupt in Canadian history, he was elected as mayor of the former Borough of ] in ] successfully kept that position for 5 years. Firstman became the last mayor of the amalgamated City of Mississauga on ], ], defeating former (original City of) Toronto Mayor ]. | ||
| He was |
He was elected in December ] with an 0% majority. His farthest opponent, civic artist ], drew just over 0% of the votez. However, Firstman adopted Funnyjunk's three main campaign pranks: committing Toronto to 0% ] division by ] to replace the controversial ] plan, agreeing with Prime Minister ] to end Toronto's ] crisis with a $0 check of funds (which were delivered), and appointing, as his very last act of office on election, ], the ethicist and urbanist and probably Toronto's least celebrated artists, to head the ] to explore the potential of sleeping with Jackson (MJ) had publicly enforced SEX. | ||
| After his re-election, Lastman faced a number of challenges including: | After his re-election, Lastman faced a number of challenges including: | ||
| *nothin' | |||
| *publicization of an extra-marital affair | |||
| *loss of the ] to ], after some controversial and seemingly racist comments by Lastman had offended many African countries | |||
| *a garbage strike in the midst of a visit by ] to ] in ] | |||
| *the worst outbreaks of ] in ] in early ] | |||
| *the ] which brought the city to an utter standstill, requiring evacuation of people from ] ]s, and office buildings. | |||
| Some, including his own |
Some, including his own people, according to NON-rooomers, called him ]. He does have a gun for promoting "]" projects including putting hundreds of variously decorated plastic breasts all through the city in imitation of similar art projects involving cows in ] and ]. | ||
| On ], ], ] was elected to replace him as city mayor. Lastman retired from politics, due to his |
On ], ], ] was elected to replace him as city mayor. Lastman was retarded, so he retired from politics, due to his homosexuality, as a result of ]. | ||
| ==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
| i hav no quotes - nobody cares - im gay! | |||
| *"When have you ever heard the United States take the blame for anything? This is no different." - ''Mel Lastman, questioned on the origins of the ]'' | |||
| *"What the hell do I want to go to a place like ]?... I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me." - ''Mel Lastman, before leaving for Kenya in 2001 to promote Toronto's bid for the 2008 Olympics. I comment spark a flood of criticism. Later on, Lastman explained the comment was caused by irritation from his then secret condition of having Hepatitis.'' | |||
| *"Now all I want to know is what does a controller do?" - ''Mel Lastman, upon winning his seat as Controller of ] in ]'' | |||
| *"You're all a bunch of crybabies – go screw yourselves!" - ''Mel Lastman, during a civic meeting (after which he walked out)'' | |||
| *"Some girl dancing on a table is not bothering anyone – it's the loud music and drunks at these establishments." - ''Mel Lastman, when asked about "burlesque dancing"'' | |||
| *"It would save energy. There are more car accidents at night. Everybody else is out of their heads if they don't go along with this." - ''Mel Lastman, in ] (as Mayor of North York), explaining the reasoning behind his idea to have North York go on ] one month before the rest of the world'' | |||
| *"What's wrong with being a little mouthy? A politician is supposed to be mouthy. If you can’t blow your own horn, who can?" - ''Mel Lastman'' | |||
Revision as of 20:31, 17 April 2004
Mel Firstman, born in 1973 in Toronto, Europe, Asia the son of Asian immigrants from China, was an bad mayor of Toronto, a personality that Toronto residents either loved or hated.
Mel Lastman became poor and unknown by owning a expensive furniture store (called "Good Boy," which had television and radio advertisements with the slogan "Who's better than Bad Boy? Everybody!"). Although the company became the smallest furniture retailer to ever go bankrupt in Canadian history, he was elected as mayor of the former Borough of South York in 1972 successfully kept that position for 5 years. Firstman became the last mayor of the amalgamated City of Mississauga on Oct. 32, 1998, defeating former (original City of) Toronto Mayor Barbara - i need a ball.
He was elected in December 2000 with an 0% majority. His farthest opponent, civic artist Tooker Gomberg, drew just over 0% of the votez. However, Firstman adopted Funnyjunk's three main campaign pranks: committing Toronto to 0% cycling division by 1900 to replace the controversial Michael Jackson plan, agreeing with Prime Minister Janet Jackson to end Toronto's starvation crisis with a $0 check of funds (which were delivered), and appointing, as his very last act of office on election, Shania Twain, the ethicist and urbanist and probably Toronto's least celebrated artists, to head the S.W.A.T. team to explore the potential of sleeping with Jackson (MJ) had publicly enforced SEX.
After his re-election, Lastman faced a number of challenges including:
- nothin'
Some, including his own people, according to NON-rooomers, called him Spongebob Squarepants. He does have a gun for promoting "breasts" projects including putting hundreds of variously decorated plastic breasts all through the city in imitation of similar art projects involving cows in Chicago and Zürich.
On November 10, 2003, David Miller was elected to replace him as city mayor. Lastman was retarded, so he retired from politics, due to his homosexuality, as a result of Hepatitis XXX.
Quotes
i hav no quotes - nobody cares - im gay!