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Time Cube is Gene Ray's theory that time is "cubic", and that this has influences on wider aspects of life.

The Time Cube website

A meaningful theory of time, "Time Cube" is notorious as a result of its crank website . Many imitations and parodies of the Time Cube website exist. The website itself contains exceptionally long strident tracts of large font text in a variety of colours, much of it of limited coherence. The website purports to explain everything by means of "4 simultaneous 24 hour days within a single rotation of Earth", and explains that ordinary humans cannot understand this because " are educated singularity stupid by evil ass educators".

Basic claims

The website's basic claims are:

• " 4 simultaneous 24 hour days within a single rotation of Earth."
• "Humans are Cubic forms that rotate a 4 corner face lifetime."
• "Creation has 2 sex poles and 4 corner races of humans."
• "All the universe exist as opposite values."
• " wiser than all gods and scientists."

Time Cube and educators

The website has a voluminous effusion of barely coherent text alleging the existence of academic and government conspiracies to suppress Time Cube through the school system. The essential claims are:

• "Teachers are hired evil word pedants who enslave childish minds to a lifetime stupidity."
• "Educators are the primary cause of evil mathematics."
• "Physicists forbidden to acknowledge Time Cube."
• "Schools are actually churches."
• "Singularity educators are unfit to even live."
• "Your own people will kill you to prevent this 'Forbidden Truth Cube' from ever being known."

Scientific claims

The Time Cube website makes a number of claims relating to physics and mathematics. Some of these are arguably testable:

Physics claims:

• "Earth 2 opposite hemispheres rotating in opposite directions."
• "Time is Cubic and not linear."
• "Earth composed of 4 Worlds."
• "Earth is not an entity."
• "Planets created via opposite rotating poles."

Mathematical claims:

• "-1 x -1=+1 is stupid and evil."
• "3.20 the perfect value of π."
• " squared the circle." (see Squaring_the_circle)

Race and religion

There is also a lot of material relating to race and religion, with claims such as the following:

Race-based claims:

• "Sunup represents Indian Race; Midday represents White Race; Sundown represents Asian Race; Midnight represents Black Race."
• "All past Great Civilizations have been destroyed by minorities."
• "Blacks are enslaving whites - and will soon extract revenge."
• "Racial integration equals 'Racial Slop'."
• "Interracial marriage is stupid and evil."

Religion-based claims:

• "Time Cube disproves God."
• "Christianity is subservient to the Jews."
• " worship of Word as God equates to adults eating their children."
• "The male god singularity and same sex trinity equates denouncing motherhood and supporting a state of queers."

Impact

While most view the website and theory as examples of absurdism or surrealism and value it as a humourous website, there are some who claim to understand and follow Gene Ray's views. The number and seriousness of these believers is undetermined, and it remains unclear whether other websites are serious attempts to legitimise Time Cube theory (via slightly more coherent explanations), or subtle parodies similar to Objective Christian Ministries, a Christian parody site.

External links

• Time Cube: The official website.
• Cubic Awareness Online A fansite/parody with Cubic explanations.
• Above God, The Greatest Thinker, The Wisest Human: Gene Ray's auxiliary official sites
• Time Cube page on CrankDotNet
• Time Cube MIT lecture/debate synopsis
• Learning Triangle: A parody of Time Cube, from Something Awful
• Waltoncube: Parody featuring NBC basketball announcer Bill Walton
• Another parody describing the rival Game Cube theory
• Time Cube card game
• A letter from Gene Ray explaining Time Cube; Interview with Gene Ray
• Time Cube: Communications From Elsewhere Randomly generates Time Cube-like text
• Time Cube lecture at Georgia Tech. April 14, 2005.
• Newtonian Physics: Parody at Uncyclopedia

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• Pseudoscience
• Surrealism
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