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S.H.E

previous FAC

This GA failed its first FAC on the grounds of linking insignificant blogs, improper use of dashes, and horrendous prose. Since then, a number of changes have been made. The lead in particular was noted for its terrible flow, and has since been copyedited by Tony1. The Background section describes how S.H.E came to be formed, but was rather unwieldly and trivial, so I went and made the part as concise as possible. The Musical career section underwent a massive copyedit, thanks to the tireless efforts of SeleneFN, who had to deal with my whining every other day. A few subtle changes were also made. Era names have been removed because they seemed a bit distracting (not to mention subjective and arbitrary). Hyphens have been replaced by en-dashes when linking two numbers (e.g. 15–24 age group). The English language icon has been removed from the cites section where present. Formatting for the 117 citations has been vastly improved. The redlinks that remain in the article are due to editors not bothering to create articles for these people....yet. Rene Liu has released a number of albums since the late 90s. Jeffrey Kung, as noted in the article, is the winner of a Best New Artist award. Nick Cheung i.e. Cheung Ka-Fai is an acclaimed Hong Kong actor. Tianhe Sports Centre is, well, a sports centre. It'll probably be used for the Olympics or something.

The accomplishments in S.H.E's musical career focus mostly on album sales and concert receipts; other extraneous news bits, such as injuries, are glanced over. Ella's major injury in 2003 is highlighted in the Television and film career section because her fall was a result of mishaps during the filming of a television program (Happy Sunday). The Endorsements section of the article used to include yearly earnings, but again, that is pretty much trivial and unimportant information that wouldn't fit in an encyclopedia article. The timeline format of the section has been modified into a simple list in sentence format. A Public image section has been added since last FAC, with proper citations. As S.H.E is still active, I expect there to be numerous future additions, and I will try my best to fit the facts in a way that doesn't compromise the article's quality.

In the Musical style and Covers sections, sound samples have been included to support points being made in the prose. All clips are under 30 seconds each, and all have fair use rationales. Regarding fair use images, this article uses five of these bad boys: an endorsement picture, 2 screenshots, an album cover, and a promotional picture for an album. The last three mentioned are used to provide additional encyclopedic context for the article (e.g. the album promotion is captioned with the fact that a song from the album became quite popular). In the Lyrics section, several seemingly dubious numbers are being thrown about (e.g. 270, 36). In fact, I actually took the trouble to find a lyrics site and actually counted all the instances of each word or phrase. The point of this was to make the point that "love" is a regular theme in S.H.E's lyrics.

In the External links section, the last two are unofficial links. One serves as a lyrics depository, while the other is a direct English translation of S.H.E news coming from HIM International's site. The Wretch blog is officially associated with S.H.E and isn't "just another blog." Pictures in the blog's album include ones where S.H.E members are at family barbecues or overseas trips. The blogspot blog, in my opinion, satisfies guideline 4 in WP:EL#What_should_be_linked because on the site's mission statement, it explicitly states Please be assured that all messages translated by us are 100% original messages posted by S.H.E. S.H.E Daybook will never provide faux messages or information. I have personally checked each of their posts, and verified (using the official blog, and HIM discussion forums) that they have fulfilled this mission statement. All of their posts are direct translations of news (coming from the label) regarding awards shows, or are messages that S.H.E members (or forum admin) originally posted in Chinese. Pandacomics 14:14, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

• Support - I personally prefer long sections of prose to be broken up into smaller sections. However, the article has reached a really high standard of quality, so I won't oppose over it.--Danaman5 03:42, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

Side comment - well, it was either tighten up the prose and place it in a (less) longer block, or make really arbitrary eras that honestly no one will ever agree on. But thanks for the compliment on the article. Pandacomics 13:18, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

• Support - I have a couple comments, but I support because as a whole the article is a mother lode of information on a band that is not well known in the Western world, and for that fact alone the depth to which the article goes reaches far and beyond the scope of any featured article I've ever seen. ALTON .ıl 23:35, 17 September 2007 (UTC)

• Oppose—Poorly written; copyright issues. [Later: I'll reluctantly move to a Neutral because the nominator has done a good job in fixing the musical style section and has reduced from six to four the number of fair-use defences. However, the prose could still do with a massage throughout; try to find someone who's unfamiliar to look at it. Deckiller's great at this, but seems to have taken a break. For example:
  • "Before I Fall In Love." Read MOS on logical punctuation. There are quite a few examples here.

Periods placed after songs with quotation marks. Pandacomics 11:58, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

• • Don't quite see the point of inserting Chinese text—why is it useful in an English-language article, even for Chinese speakers? Clutters up the text (including H.B.O, Digi Girl, 3C Girls (3C 美少女), and S.H.E Girl Friends (S.H.E 女朋友)).

The Chinese text is there mostly to disambiguate the songs, because translations are usually at the discretion of whoever's translating it. But I guess the lay reader could probably care less. Pandacomics 20:08, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

• • " each of the five judges would turn on lights when flaws in singing were identified"—Plain past tense, please.

Changed. Pandacomics 11:58, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

• • "in New York City, New York"—Do we REALLY need NY State here?

Point taken, changed accordingly. Pandacomics 11:58, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Plus more.]

Tony (talk) 05:35, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

• I looked at the prose of just one section: Musical style. Here are random issues.
  • "All three members have different vocal ranges to complement each other when singing." As opposed to when talking or laughing?
  • In a contrastive structure, use the same wording, or even merge the wording. The first clause is ambiguous here. "As a result, Ella sings more parts if the song is intended for a lower key; Hebe and Selina are the predominant voices if the song is intended for a higher key."
  • Ungainly repetition: "fall into ... fall into".
  • "The majority of S.H.E songs"—"Most ..."?
  • "In Girls Dorm and Youth Society, acoustic guitar melody lines would be used as well."—"Would be"?
  • Is comprised of? No: "is composed of".

This section refers to none of the four audio clips next to it. The captions for each clip are better than nothing, but frankly, WP:NFC requires a bit more than just "The penultimate chorus of this ballad is followed by a rap". Fair use must be educational/scholastic. Use as little fair use as possible: six are probably too many. Tony (talk) 02:20, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

1) removed "when singing"
3) changed second "fall into" into "songs from this genre"
4) corrected
5)"would be" changed to "were"
6) fixed.
As for point #4, I'm trying to explain that since she's good at singing low, more low-pitched parts are given to her (because she's good at it). Likewise for the higher-register vocalists. Pandacomics 04:13, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

For your fair use concerns, I essentially redid the whole music sample section. There are now two clips. I also added, to the best of my ability, informative captions and summaries that could provide information about the clip. Pandacomics 05:11, 30 September 2007 (UTC)

No

• "This GA failed its first FAC on the grounds of linking insignificant blogs, improper use of dashes, and horrendous prose." So why was it even allowed to be nominated? They really need to have a policy that at least three people are require to nominate an article for FA.
• This article is GA status from 3/4 of the WikiProjects. Please get it to A status first before trying to be consider here. Thanks! Leranedo 13:32, 18 October 2007 (UTC)