Revision as of 08:11, 13 November 2007 editGlobeGores (talk | contribs)Extended confirmed users, Rollbackers2,689 editsm →Plot summary improvement: new section← Previous edit | Revision as of 08:12, 13 November 2007 edit undoSineBot (talk | contribs)Bots2,555,839 editsm Signing comment by GlobeGores - "→Plot summary improvement: new section"Next edit → | ||
Line 28: | Line 28: | ||
:Anthony Cade unexpectedly meets his old friend, Jimmy McGrath, in Bulawayo. McGrath recounts to Cade an experience he had in Paris a few years before: he rescued an unkown man, who turned out to be eminent diplomant Count Stylptitch of Herzoslovakia, from a group of thugs. | :Anthony Cade unexpectedly meets his old friend, Jimmy McGrath, in Bulawayo. McGrath recounts to Cade an experience he had in Paris a few years before: he rescued an unkown man, who turned out to be eminent diplomant Count Stylptitch of Herzoslovakia, from a group of thugs. | ||
Is that too little content and too much wiki-markup, or fine as it is? | Is that too little content and too much wiki-markup, or fine as it is? <small>—Preceding ] comment added by ] (] • ]) 08:11, 13 November 2007 (UTC)</small><!-- Template:Unsigned --> <!--Autosigned by SineBot--> |
Revision as of 08:12, 13 November 2007
Novels Stub‑class Mid‑importance | |||||||||||||
|
Format of the plot section?
Hi, not sure if this is the right place to bring this up, but does anyone think that the plot section of this article needs a bit of cleanup? It seems like it would benefit from having a less informal "storytelling" style (much as it helps attract the reader's attention). The plot summary has good information, but is suffering from containing several grammatically incorrect but stylistically okay sections (such as the fragment in the beginning). The plot section is more or less unchanged from this edit; the original plot summary was much shorter. Are any improvements needed? Thanks. GlobeGores (talk) 03:26, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
Agreed that the present summary is not up to scratch.--Jtomlin1uk 14:50, 12 November 2007 (UTC)
- Hi Jtomlin. Yes, I agree, and I think it is too long. However, editing the plot summary unilaterally might cause a conflict between editors of the page if done without discussion. Maybe there should be a {{story}} template on the plot summary section? It seems like it fits the criterion elaborated there.
- I'll begin working on the
first two paragraphsfirst two paragraphs of the plot summary section in this article pretty soon. GlobeGores (talk) 07:53, 13 November 2007 (UTC) Sorry about that, meant the plot summary section... GlobeGores (talk) 07:57, 13 November 2007 (UTC)
Plot summary improvement
The plot summary's first two paragraphs proceed thus:
Bulawayo. Of all places for Anthony Cade to run into his old friend Jimmy McGrath! But then again, for men with as much in common as they had — both adventurers and soldiers of fortune, both sharing a taste for good whiskey, lovely women, and all things exotic—maybe a chance meeting in the Rhodesian bush was not quite as astonishing as it at first seemed.
Always ready with an interesting yarn or an intriguing offer, McGrath had one of each for his friend Anthony Cade. Paris, a few years back: Jimmy McGrath was walking alone in a deserted area of the city when he happened upon a group of French toughs beating up a helpless old gentleman. Just to even the odds, Jimmy took the old gent's cause, thrashed the attackers, and sent them running. He was then amazed to find that the old man was none other than Count Stylptitch of Herzoslovakia. Why, even those who had never heard of Herzoslovakia had heard of the Count—master diplomat and kingmaker, the "Grand Old Man of the Balkans."
An edited version (changes are in small text, since I have no idea how to do color):
Bulawayo. Of all places for Anthony Cade to run into his old friend Jimmy McGrath!Anthony Cade unexpectedly meets his old friend, Jimmy McGrath, in Bulawayo.But then again, for men with as much in common as they had — both adventurers and soldiers of fortune, both sharing a taste for good whiskey, lovely women, and all things exotic—maybe a chance meeting in the Rhodesian bush was not quite as astonishing as it at first seemed.(No paragraph break here.)Always ready with an interesting yarn or an intriguing offer, McGrath had one of each for his friend Anthony Cade. Paris, a few years back: Jimmy McGrath was walking alone in a deserted area of the city when he happened upon a group of French toughs beating up a helpless old gentleman.McGrath recounts to Cade an experience he had in Paris a few years before: he rescued an unkown man, who turned out to be eminent diplomant Count Stylptitch of Herzoslovakia, from a group of thugs.Just to even the odds, Jimmy took the old gent's cause, thrashed the attackers, and sent them running. He was then amazed to find that the old man was none other than Count Stylptitch of Herzoslovakia. Why, even those who had never heard of Herzoslovakia had heard of the Count—master diplomat and kingmaker, the "Grand Old Man of the Balkans."
So these two paragraphs have been reduced to two lines, namely:
- Anthony Cade unexpectedly meets his old friend, Jimmy McGrath, in Bulawayo. McGrath recounts to Cade an experience he had in Paris a few years before: he rescued an unkown man, who turned out to be eminent diplomant Count Stylptitch of Herzoslovakia, from a group of thugs.
Is that too little content and too much wiki-markup, or fine as it is? —Preceding unsigned comment added by GlobeGores (talk • contribs) 08:11, 13 November 2007 (UTC)
Categories: