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| Here are a few of the things Bart has written on the blackboard: | Here are a few of the things Bart has written on the blackboard: | ||
| * I will not carve |
* I will not carve ]s. | ||
| * I will not spank others. | * I will not ] others. | ||
| * I will not aim for the head. | * I will not ] for the head. | ||
| * I will not barf unless I'm sick | * I will not barf unless I'm sick | ||
| * I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. | * I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. | ||
| * I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. | * I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. | ||
| * I will not conduct my own fire drills. | * I will not conduct my own ] drills. | ||
| * Funny noises are not funny. | * Funny noises are not funny. | ||
| * I will not snap |
* I will not snap ]s. | ||
| * I will not fake |
* I will not fake ]s. | ||
| * This punishment is not boring and pointless. | * This punishment is not boring and pointless. | ||
| * My name is not Dr. Death. | * My name is not Dr. ]. | ||
| * I will not defame New Orleans. | * I will not defame ]. | ||
| * I will not prescribe medication. | * I will not prescribe medication. | ||
| * I will not bury the new kid. | * I will not bury the new kid. | ||
| * I will not teach others to fly. | * I will not teach others to fly. | ||
| * I will not bring sheep to class. | * I will not bring ] to class. | ||
| * A burp is not an answer. | * A burp is not an answer. | ||
| * Teacher is not a leper. | * ] is not a ]. | ||
| * Coffee is not for kids. | * ] is not for kids. | ||
| * I will not eat things for money. | * I will not eat things for ]. | ||
| * I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. | * I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call. | ||
| * The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee. | * The principal's ] is not a ]. | ||
| * I will not call the principal "spud head". | * I will not call the principal "] head". | ||
| * Goldfish don't bounce. | * ] don't bounce. | ||
| * Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. | * Mud is not one of the 4 food groups. | ||
| * No one is interested in my underpants. | * No one is interested in my ]. | ||
| * I will not sell miracle cures. | * I will not sell miracle cures. | ||
| * I will return the seeing-eye dog. | * I will return the seeing-eye ]. | ||
| * I do not have diplomatic immunity. | * I do not have diplomatic immunity. | ||
| * I will not charge admission to the bathroom. | * I will not charge admission to the ]. | ||
| * I will never win an emmy. | * I will never win an ]. | ||
| * The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy. | * The cafeteria deep fryer is not a ]. | ||
| * All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. | * All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy. | ||
| * I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. | * I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause. | ||
| * I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. | * I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers. | ||
| * My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man. | * My ] was not stolen by a one-armed man. | ||
| * I will not go near the kindergarten turtle. | * I will not go near the ] ]. | ||
| * I am not deliciously saucy. | * I am not deliciously saucy. | ||
| * Organ transplants are best left to professionals. | * Organ transplants are best left to professionals. | ||
| * The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan". | * The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail ]". | ||
| * I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. | * I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. | ||
| * There are plenty of businesses like show business. | * There are plenty of businesses like show business. | ||
| * Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. | * Five days is not too long to wait for a gun. | ||
| * I will not waste chalk. | * I will not waste chalk. | ||
| * I will not skateboard in the halls. | * I will not ] in the halls. | ||
| * I will not instigate revolution. | * I will not instigate revolution. | ||
| * I will not draw naked ladies in class. | * I will not draw naked ] in class. | ||
| * I did not see Elvis. | * I did not see ]. | ||
| * I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes". | * I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes". | ||
| * Garlic gum is not funny. | * ] ] is not funny. | ||
| * They are laughing at me, not with me. | * They are laughing at me, not with me. | ||
| * I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom. | * I will not yell "]" in a crowded classroom. | ||
| * I will not encourage others to fly. | * I will not encourage others to fly. | ||
| * I will not fake my way through life. | * I will not fake my way through life. | ||
| * Tar is not a plaything. | * Tar is not a plaything. | ||
| * I will not Xerox my butt. | * I will not ] my butt. | ||
| * It's potato, not potatoe. | * It's ], not potatoe. | ||
| * I will not trade pants with others. | * I will not trade ] with others. | ||
| * I am not a 32 year old woman. | * I am not a 32 year old ]. | ||
| * I will not do that thing with my tongue. | * I will not do that thing with my ]. | ||
| * I will not drive the principal's car. | * I will not drive the principal's car. | ||
| * I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. | * I will not pledge allegiance to Bart. | ||
| Line 75: | Line 75: | ||
| * I will not get very far with this attitude. | * I will not get very far with this attitude. | ||
| * I will not belch the National Anthem. | * I will not belch the National Anthem. | ||
| * I will not sell land in Florida. | * I will not sell land in ]. | ||
| * I will not grease the monkey bars. | * I will not grease the monkey bars. | ||
| * I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment. | * I will not hide behind the ]. | ||
| * I will not do anything bad ever again. | * I will not do anything bad ever again. | ||
| * I will not show off. | * I will not show off. | ||
| * I will not sleep through my education. | * I will not sleep through my education. | ||
| * I am not a dentist. | * I am not a ]. | ||
| * Spitwads are not free speech. | * Spitwads are not free speech. | ||
| * Nobody likes sunburn slappers. | * Nobody likes sunburn slappers. | ||
| * High explosives and school don't mix. | * High ] and school don't mix. | ||
| * I will not bribe Principal Skinner. | * I will not bribe Principal Skinner. | ||
| * I will not squeak chalk. | * I will not squeak chalk. | ||
| * I will finish what I sta | * I will finish what I sta | ||
| * "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender. | * "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender. | ||
| * Underwear should be worn on the inside. | * ] should be worn on the inside. | ||
| * The Christmas Pageant does not stink. | * The Christmas Pageant does not stink. | ||
| * I will not torment the emotionally frail. | * I will not torment the emotionally frail. | ||
Revision as of 08:31, 11 January 2004
Bartholomew Jo-Jo "Bart" Simpson is a fictional character featured in the television animated series The Simpsons., He is the 10 year old son of Homer and Marge Simpson and older brother of Lisa and Maggie.
Bart is a self-proclaimed underachiever who begins each show writing detention lines on the blackboard. Bart's interests include skateboarding, comic books (esp. Radioactive Man), terrorizing his sisters, Dickensian chimney sweeps and prank calling Moe Szyslak at his tavern.
In an interview, Simpsons creator Matt Groening stated he chose the name as an anagram of "brat".
Here are a few of the things Bart has written on the blackboard:
- I will not carve gods.
- I will not spank others.
- I will not aim for the head.
- I will not barf unless I'm sick
- I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
- I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
- I will not conduct my own fire drills.
- Funny noises are not funny.
- I will not snap bras.
- I will not fake seizures.
- This punishment is not boring and pointless.
- My name is not Dr. Death.
- I will not defame New Orleans.
- I will not prescribe medication.
- I will not bury the new kid.
- I will not teach others to fly.
- I will not bring sheep to class.
- A burp is not an answer.
- Teacher is not a leper.
- Coffee is not for kids.
- I will not eat things for money.
- I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
- The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
- I will not call the principal "spud head".
- Goldfish don't bounce.
- Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
- No one is interested in my underpants.
- I will not sell miracle cures.
- I will return the seeing-eye dog.
- I do not have diplomatic immunity.
- I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
- I will never win an emmy.
- The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
- All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
- I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
- I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
- My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
- I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
- I am not deliciously saucy.
- Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
- The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
- I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
- There are plenty of businesses like show business.
- Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
- I will not waste chalk.
- I will not skateboard in the halls.
- I will not instigate revolution.
- I will not draw naked ladies in class.
- I did not see Elvis.
- I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
- Garlic gum is not funny.
- They are laughing at me, not with me.
- I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
- I will not encourage others to fly.
- I will not fake my way through life.
- Tar is not a plaything.
- I will not Xerox my butt.
- It's potato, not potatoe.
- I will not trade pants with others.
- I am not a 32 year old woman.
- I will not do that thing with my tongue.
- I will not drive the principal's car.
- I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
- I will not sell school property.
- I will not burp in class.
- I will not cut corners.
- I will not get very far with this attitude.
- I will not belch the National Anthem.
- I will not sell land in Florida.
- I will not grease the monkey bars.
- I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
- I will not do anything bad ever again.
- I will not show off.
- I will not sleep through my education.
- I am not a dentist.
- Spitwads are not free speech.
- Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
- High explosives and school don't mix.
- I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
- I will not squeak chalk.
- I will finish what I sta
- "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
- Underwear should be worn on the inside.
- The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
- I will not torment the emotionally frail.
Episodes that feature Bart extensively include (but not all):
- Bart the Genius - in this episode, he is mistaken for genius.
See also Characters from The Simpsons.