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Revision as of 23:41, 26 July 2009
Public secondary school in West Schaumburg Road, Streamwood, Illinois, USA| Streamwood High School | |
|---|---|
| Location | |
| 701 West Schaumburg Road Streamwood, Illinois USA | |
| Information | |
| Type | Public secondary |
| Established | 1978 |
| Principal | Oscar Hawthorne |
| Faculty | 143 |
| Grades | 9–12 |
| Enrollment | 2,311 |
| Campus | Suburban |
| Color(s) | Black and Vegas Gold |
| Mascot | Long-Haired Dick |
| Website | www.u-46.org/shs |
Streamwood High School, or SHS, is a public four-year high school located in Streamwood, Illinois, a north-west suburb of Chicago, Illinois, in the United States. It is part of Elgin Area School District U46, which also includes Bartlett High School, Larkin High School, South Elgin High School, and Elgin High School. It is also the home of the most retarded teenagers of America. At Streamwood High School, male students actually touch each other inappropriately (VERY inappropriately) and try to assume the role heterosexuals. Female students at the school are known for their homosexual poetry and bizarre gothic antics, including cutting themselves and wearing things that some would say could be clothing for the movie "Dracula".
Academics
In 2005, Streamwood had a real shitty composite ACT score of 19.0, and graduated 87.9% of its senior class. The average class size is 28.925. Students at SHS don't particularly care about their futures and think it's cool to fail out of multiple classes. That is why Streamwood has not made Adequate Yearly Progress on the Prairie State Achievement Examinations, a statewide test part of the No Child Left Behind Act.
Athletics
Streamwood competes in the Upstate Eight Conference. Its nickname is the Sabres. Why would Streamwood High School's Fight Song go to the tune of Ohio State's Across the Field when all of the students reside in Illinois? That is a good question... And how old was the author of the Fight Song? Had anyone bothered changing it to sound better at all? Apparently not. And if this is the best they can come up with, it's no wonder that they really suck at almost each and every sport they have a team for: especially football.
Fight Song: (Tune of Ohio State's Across the Field)
Forward always Streamwood High School
Let your colors show
We know that we will always be victorious everywhere we go
GO! FIGHT! WIN!
We've got spirit, more than the rest
Streamwood High is none but the best
Streamwood whose high school teams
Are the greatest in Illinois
(interlude)
Fight
to the Sabres the Sabres of SHS
Activities
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Notable Alumni
- Matt Ulrich, Class of 2000, inactive professional American football offensive lineman, most recently with the Indianapolis Colts.
References
External links
| Elgin Area School District U46 | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bartlett High School |
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| Elgin High School |
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| Larkin High School |
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| South Elgin High School |
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| Streamwood High School |
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| Upstate Eight Conference | |
|---|---|
| West Division | |
| East Division | |