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It has been suggested that Intimacy be merged into this article. (Discuss) Proposed since October 2009.

An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It can be defined by these characteristics: enduring behavioral interdependence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment, and need fulfillment.

Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have a universal need to belong which is satisfied when intimate relationships are formed. Intimate relationships consist of the people that we are attracted to, whom we like and love, romantic and sexual relationships, and those who we marry and provide emotional and personal support. Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal needs of belongingness and the need to be cared for.

The systematic study of intimate relationships is a relatively new area of research within the field of social psychology that has emerged within the last few decades. Although the systematic study of intimate relationships is fairly recent, social thought and analysis of intimate relationships dates back to early Greek philosophers. Early scholarly studies were also interested in intimate relationships but were limited to dyads or small groups of people in the public and narrowly examined behaviours such as competing and cooperation, negotiation and bargaining and compliance and resistance.

Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity.

Physical and emotional intimacy

Relationships (Outline)
Types Genetic or adoptive Kinship Family Stepfamily Parent Father Mother Son Daughter Grandparent Sibling Brother Sister Cousin Aunt Uncle Niece and nephew By marriage Spouse Husband Wife Open marriage Polygamy Polyandry Polygyny Group marriage Mixed-orientation Partner(s) Significant other Boyfriend Girlfriend Cohabitation Long-distance Online Same-sex Queerplatonic Friendship (romantic / cross-sex / zone) Intimate and sexual Casual Monogamy Non-monogamy Mutual monogamy Polyamory Polyfidelity Affair Cicisbeo Concubinage Courtesan Mistress
Activities Bonding Courtship Dating Engagement Bachelor's Day Mating Meet market Romance Singles event Wedding
Endings Breakup Legal/marital separation Annulment Divorce Widowhood
Emotions and feelings Affinity Attachment Intimacy Jealousy Limerence Love Platonic Unconditional Passion Sexuality
Practices Bride price dower dowry service Hypergamy Infidelity Sexual activity Transgression Repression
Abuse Child Dating Domestic Elderly Narcissistic parent Controlling behavior Stalking
v t e

Love is an important factor in physical and emotional intimate relationships. Though the term is notoriously difficult to define, any thoughtful inquiry into the subject will show it to be qualitatively, not only quantitatively, different than liking, and the difference is not merely in the presence or absence of sexual attraction. There are two types of love in a relationship; passionate love and companionate love. With companionate love, potent feelings diminish but are enriched by warm feelings of attachment, an authentic and enduring bond, a sense of mutual commitment, the profound knowledge that you are caring for another person who is in turn caring for you, feeling proud of a mate's accomplishment, and the satisfaction that comes from sharing goals and perspective. In contrast, passionate love is marked by infatuation, intense preoccupation with the partner, strong sexual longing, throes of ecstasy, and feelings of exhilaration that come from being reunited with the partner.

People who are in an intimate relationship with one another are often called a couple, especially if the members of that couple have ascribed some degree of permanency to their relationship. Such couples often provide the emotional security that is necessary for them to accomplish other tasks, particularly forms of labor or work.

History of intimate relationships

Ancient Philosophers-Aristotle

Ancient philosophers mused over ideas of marital satisfaction, faithfulness, beauty and jealousy although their concepts and understandings were often inaccurate or misleading.

Over 2300 years ago, interpersonal relationship were being contemplated by Aristotle. He wrote: “One person is a friend to another if he is friendly to the other and the other is friendly to him in return” (Aristotle, 330 B.C., trans. 1991, pp 72-73). Aristotle believed that by nature humans are social beings. Aristotle also suggested that there were three different types of relationships. People are attracted to relationships that provide utility because of the assistance and sense of belonging that they provide. In relationships based on pleasure, people are attracted to the feelings of pleasantness and that they are engaging. However, relationships based on utility and pleasure were said to be short lived if the benefits provided by one of the partners was not reciprocated. In relationships based on virtue, we are attracted to others’ virtuous character. Aristotle also suggested that relationships based on virtue would be the longest lasting and that virtue based relationships were the only type of relationship that each partner was liked for themselves. Although Aristotle put forth much consideration about relationships, as like many other ancient philosophers, did not use systematic methods and therefore could not conclude that his thoughts and ideas were correct. The philosophical analysis used by Aristotle dominated the analysis of intimate relationships until the late 1880’s.

1880s to early 1900s

Modern psychology and sociology began to emerge in the late 1800’s. During this time theorists often included relationships into their current areas of research and began to develop new foundations which had implications in regards to the analysis of intimate relationships. Freud wrote about parent-child relationships and their effect on personality development. Freud’s analysis proposed that people’s childhood experiences are transferred or passed on into adult relationships by means of feelings and expectations. Freud also founded the idea that individuals usually seek out marital partners who are similar to that of their opposite-sex parent.

In 1891, James wrote that a person’s self concept is defined by the relationships we endure with others. In 1897, Durkheim’s interest in social organization led to the examination of social isolation and alienation. This was an influential discovery of intimate relationships in that Durkheim argued that being socially isolated was a key antecedent of suicide. This focus on the darker side of relationships and the negative consequences associated to social isolation were what Durkheim labeled as anomie. Simmel wrote about dyads, or partnerships with two people, and examined their unique properties in the 1950’s. Simmel suggested that dyads require consent and engagement of both partners to maintain the relationship but noted that the relationship can be ended by the initiation of only one partner. Although the theorists mentioned above sought support for their theories, their primary contributions to the study of intimate relationships were conceptual and not empirically grounded.

The Rise of Empiricism

The use of empirical investigations in 1898 was a major revolution in social analysis. A study conducted by Monroe, examined the traits and habits of children in selecting a friend. Some of the attributes included in the study were kindness, cheerfulness and honesty. Monroe asked 2336 children aged 7 to 16 to identify “what kind of chum do you like best?” The results of the study indicate that children preferred a friend that was their own age, of the same sex, same in size physically, a friend with light features (hair and eyes), friends that did not engage in conflict, someone that was kind to animals and humans and finally that they were honest. The two characteristics that children reported as least important included wealth and religion.

The study by Monroe was the first to mark the significant shift in the study of intimate relationships from analysis that was primarily philosophical to those with empirical validity. This study is said to have finally marked the beginning of relationship science. However, in the years following Monroe’s influential study, very few similar studies were done. There were limited studies done on children’s friendships,courtship and marriages and families in the 1930’s but few relationship studies were conducted before or during World War II. Intimate relationships did not become a broad focus of research again until the 1960’s and 1970’s when there was a vast amount of relationship studies being published.

1960s and 1970s

An important shift was taking place in the field of social psychology that influenced the research of intimate relationships. Up until the late 1950’s, the majority of studies were non-experimental. By the end of the 1960’s more than half of the articles published involved some sort of experimental manipulation. The 60’s was also a time when there was a shift in methodology within the psychological discipline itself. Participants consisted mostly of college students, experimental methods and research was being conducted in laboratories and the experimental method was the dominant methodology in social psychology. Experimental manipulation within the research of intimate relationships demonstrated that relationships could be studied scientifically. This shift brought relationship science to the attention of scholars in other disciplines and has resulted in the study of intimate relationships being an international multidiscipline.

1980s to 2000s

In the early 1980’s the first conference of the International Network of Personal Relationships (INPR) was held. Approximately 300 researchers from all parts of the world attended the conference. In March 1984, the first journal of Social and Personal Relationships was published. In the early 1990’s the INPR split off into two groups, however in April 2004 the two organizations rejoined and became the International Association for Relationship Research (IARR).

2010s

Today the study of intimate relationships (relationship science) uses participants from diverse samples and examines a wide variety of topics that include family relations, friendships and romantic relationships usually over a long period of time. The current study of intimate relationships includes the both the positive aspects of relationships as well as negative or unpleasant aspects.

Current research being conducted by John Gottman and his colleagues involves inviting married couples into a pleasant setting, in which they revisit the disagreement that caused their last argument. Although the participants are aware that they are being videotaped, they soon become so absorbed in the interaction that they forget they are being recorded. With the second-by-second analysis of the observable reactions as well as emotional reactions, Gottman is able to accurately predict with 93 percent accuracy the future fate of the couples relationship.

Another current area of research within the intimate relationships is being conducted by Terri Orbuch and Joseph Veroff (2002). They are monitoring newlywed couples using self-reports over a long period of time (longitudinal). Participants are required to provide extensive reports about the nature and the status of their relationships. Although many of the marriages have ended since the beginning of the study, this type of relationship study allows researchers to track marriages from start to finish by conducting follow-up interviews with the participants in order to determine what factors are associated with marriages that last and those that do not. Although the field of relationship science is still relatively young, research is being conducted by researchers from many different disciplines that continues to broaden the scope of intimate relationships.

The intimate partners

Terms for partners in intimate relationships include:

• Boyfriend/Girlfriend
• Confidant or confidante
• Family member
• Friend
• Life partner/Partner
• Spouse
• Mistress
• Significant other
• Companion

See also

• Free Union
• Intimacy
• Love
• Marriage
• Romance (love)
• Sexual partner
• Human sexuality
• Significant other
• Dating (activity)
• Polyamory
• Monogamy
• Polygamy

External links

• International Association for Relationship Research
• Process of Adaption in Intimate Relationships

References

1. ^ Miller, R. S., Perlman, D., & Brehm, S. S. (2007). Intimate Relationships (4th ed.). Toronto, ON: McGraw-Hill.
2. ^ Perlman, D. (2007). The best of times, the worst of times: The place of close relationships in psychology and our daily lives. Canadian Psychology, 48, 7-18.
3. Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. L. (1993). Historical and cross-cultural perspectives on passionate love and sexual desire. Annual Review of Sex Research, 4, 67-97
4. ^ Vangelisti, A. L., & Perlman, D. (2006). The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships. Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.
5. ^ Monroe, W. S. (1898). Discussion and reports. Social consciousness in children. Psychological Review, 15, 68-70.

• Articles to be merged from October 2009
• Intimate relationships
• Interpersonal relationships