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Revision as of 22:26, 3 January 2013

GA Review

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Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 16:36, 3 January 2013 (UTC)

I'll do this one. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:36, 3 January 2013 (UTC)

Right off the bat, prose and errors jump right out at me here. In the lede, " led by protagonist Major Motoko Kusanagi". Chief Aramaki runs it. Motoko is the field commander.

Setting needs expansion and work.

"The series takes place in the near future, where many people can become cyborgs with prosthetic bodies." - 'where many people can become' sounds off. I think it would be good to put its cyberpunk background in here as well. The society itself is different from our own and should be covered in the setting as well. Spinning off to its own article does not justify a short paragraph like this either.

Story needs work as well. It doesn't adequately cover the events and is particularly hard to follow, the prose isn't wonderful either. "After merging with The Puppeteer, Kusanagi awakes in one of her safe house and a new body given to by Batou." For example.

Also 'Motoko Aramaki' in the second part is confusing. Why did her last name change? Ghost in the Shell 1.5 seems better, but it could use a bit of expansion. The varying names and changes are going to be hard for unfamiliar readers to follow.

It could use a character section, as the article seems lacking without it. The live action film section lacks an update. Will anything ever become of it? I don't know why the anime series isn't covered either. As the hatnote says 'This article is about the media franchise.' It should cover all the media in some form including the video games. This article needs a lot of updating and expansion to cover the material, it really is rather bare bones. I'll put it on hold, but this will take a lot of work to pass. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 17:45, 3 January 2013 (UTC)

I can fix to make things clearer and have a more encyclopedic tone. However i cant fix the subjective issues you have with the plot. I dont understand what the issue is with "After merging with The Puppeteer, Kusanagi awakes in one of her safe house and a new body given to by Batou." Her conscioussness merged with the Puppeteer and she woke up in a new prostetic body.

There is no clear reason why her name changed unfortunately, so i cant give much of an answer. The plot of Ghost in the Shell is a bit difficult. The 1.5 plot is the one i personally think looks the worst but at the same time it looks like that because there is no overarching plot that the manga follows so listing the story chapter by chapter is better without saying "Section 9 in their four investigations" So i will be editing that more so it doesnt say "In chapter this" and "In chapter that".

I'm not so sure a "character" section is absolutely necessary for GA status as i noticed many anime and manga articles not have a character section.

Although i would like to add its cyberpunk background, the problem is not much has been revealed in the manga. Plus the articles in there have a lot of Original research and not all of it falls in the same series, in fact most of it falls in the Stand Alone Complex series which is an alternate continuation. So i dont want to add anything thats not necessary and eventually will be removed for original research.

The article is now mainly about the manga since they have been merged hence why reception and development are solely on the manga. The article however does cover all media directly relating to the series but does not over media based on the adaptations based on the manga. For example: It would be trivial to list the soundtracks on the main article if the soundtracks are related more too the film over the manga.

The live action film has hardly any info. This happens quite often. Many producers want to create a live action film of a manga or anime. Should i just say " As of 2013 no news or reports of its progress has surfaced" at the end of it?

I think this was a hasty review considering that the anime series is covered. I dont know why you say it isnt.Lucia Black (talk) 21:28, 3 January 2013 (UTC)

Little personal info here, I love the series. So I've delved into the background and the symbolism and the world of GITS very closely. This article is about the franchise, I'd EXPECT a character section for key figures like Motoko. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex does a better job of covering the relevant material then this article. If I am reading about the franchise I do not think that the key reoccurring characters should require a hop to learn even basic details about them. GA is not explicit in what it must have and what it should have, only that it be both broad and detailed within expectations. Not giving readers key character overviews on the key page is a problem.

Since you do not see my concerns I'll point them out with this sentence. "After merging with The Puppeteer, Kusanagi awakes in one of her safe house and a new body given to by Batou."

She has safe houses or just one? I also thought that she needs no physical body and exists on the net itself. With the dolls (never covered either...) just being physical tools for her. So even here the overview is wrong and critically so.

Tachikomas are also footnoted with half a paragraph dedicated to them, a long icon of the series. They played a role like Data of Star Trek and serve to further the philosophy that GITS pushes so hard.

Also as for the anime and the movies, nothing is mentioned of the top-tier graphics used and how it is still cutting edge even today and really pushed the envelope. Thi→s page is better suited to the manga then to the franchise. It is lacking detailed information on the series, the novels and while it does cover the manga, does nothing to bring up the philosophy and Shirow's vision of the future. It doesn't even gloss over Motoko's gender identity and sexuality matters, it outright ignores them. It ignores political commentary and society issues that are very detailed and are key to the lengthy plot lines. GITS is dialog heavy and extremely philosophical, its not action based and to avoid key elements of what makes the series unique and identifiable is perhaps the single biggest issue I can take with it.

Reliable sources are abound for GITS, its not original research to call it cyberpunk, its not original research to discuss transhumanism. Its part of the plot itself. Attention to detail and the fictional universe's workings are going to be difficult because it is foreign enough to throw most readers a few curveballs, but this page barely scrapes the surface of the franchise and what it truly is. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 22:06, 3 January 2013 (UTC)

There is no detailed studies about this that are accessible. Ive searched for these things through constant interviews and reviews of the series. Some of the things (if not most) actually is original research such as her gender identity (again only in her stand alone complex series) and sexuality (there is no such discussion unless by fans).

I feel we need a less bias reviewer.Lucia Black (talk) 22:26, 3 January 2013 (UTC)