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This article is about the Wack Pack member. For the poker player, see Eric Lynch.
| Eric "Eric The Midget" Lynch | |
|---|---|
| File:Eric the Midget.gifWack Packer Eric "the Midget" Lynch from the set of American Dreams. | |
| Born | "Eric Lynch" (1975-03-11) March 11, 1975 (age 49)  Rodeo, California |
| Occupation(s) | Actor, Radio personality |
| Height | 3 ft 5 in (104 cm) |
| Website | myspace.com/erictheactorlynch |
Eric Lynch (born March 11, 1975), better known as Eric the Midget, is a frequent caller of the Howard Stern Radio Show and a reluctant member of The Wack Pack. Due to his small lungs which prevent him from completing a sentence without taking 4 or 5 breaths, he sometimes can not get through three and four syllable words without taking a breath. Lynch also suffers from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a disease of the connective tissue. He says that he has outlived every doctor's predictions. He is 3' 5" tall and weighs 85 pounds and uses a motorized wheelchair to get around.
A self-styled "expert" on American Idol, Lynch is known for his obsession with American Idol winners Kelly Clarkson, and Carrie Underwood, and runner-up Katharine McPhee. Lynch has repeatedly and unrealistically asked Howard Stern to use his influence to get him dates with Clarkson or Underwood. Stern did however help Lynch land a guest starring role on one of his favorite television shows, American Dreams, for which Lynch remains ungrateful.
Because of the guest role, he is known, by his own request, as "Eric The Actor", although he is rarely referred to as such. This is because he finds the word "midget" offensive to a "little person": he equates it to referring to an African American as a "nigger". He is also sometimes jokingly referred to as "Eric the Astronaut", because he is as much of an astronaut as he is an actor. Lynch has countered this nickname with "Eric the Idol Expert", which has yet to catch on.
In 2007, Eric was listed at #3 on Something Awful's Big Ten List of Little People, finishing ahead of such noteable little persons as Verne Troyer and Jason Acuna.
Pre-Stern show and Initial appearances
 | This section needs expansion. You can help by adding to it. (March 2007) |
Eric was born and raised in Rodeo, California, where he was a peer of future Green Day members Billie Joe Armstrong and Mike Dirnt. He attended high school at John Swett High School, graduating in 1994. While in his 20's, Eric moved to his own apartment in Sacramento, California. It was in this time period when he began regularly calling into the Howard Stern Show. Eric's eccentricities made him a favorite among Stern's listeners, and Eric begrudgingly became a member of the wackpack.
His own Sirius show and subsequent feud
After many back and forth negotiations, Lynch has done a tryout American Idol recap show on Sirius. The show aired on March 82006 and featured Brian Dunkleman, ex co-host of American Idol as a guest. However, Dunkleman quickly usurped control from Lynch and began acting as the show's host. Some highlights of the show were Richard Christy calling in and asking, "How big is your midget cock?", and a phony Leslie Moonves congratulating Lynch on a great show. Afterwards, Lynch expressed that he felt "set up" due to the quantity of negative calls put through to his show and blamed segment producer Will Murray for this and vowed to never call in to the Stern Show again. Stern and his fans were skeptical, however, because his final message was "Ok, I'll talk to you la-GOODBYE".
On April 62006 Howard Stern noted that Lynch had been sending emails to the show discussing American Idol, but Howard wouldn't read them on the air due to Lynch's self-imposed ban. Lynch was interviewed by the Howard 100 News during the Stern Show's April 2006 vacation and stated that he will only return to the show if Will Murray is fired.
Lynch called in to the Stern Show on May 10, 2006 to make a plea to be included on the show without being called a "midget", having his voice made fun of, or being associated with the Wack Pack. He is no longer demanding Murray be fired, as Murray has since apologized to him. Lynch asked to be a West Coast correspondent for Howard 100 News. Stern deduced that the real reason for the call was to get tickets to the American Idol finale and teased Lynch by suggesting that Gary the Retard should cover the event instead, as he is a real "Wack Packer".
In May 2006, Lynch began calling the show more than ever in spite of none of his demands being met. His new trademark sign off is "Bye for now" which gets chuckles from the Stern staff at the end of each phone call. On May 17, 2006, Lynch called the show and turned down an offer to have sex with Tabitha Stevens. He called again the next day with a list of "Wack Packers" with asterisks by the names of those he didn't want to be associated with.
Lynch's inches and Katherine McPhee
On May 22, 2006, Lynch called the Stern Show and measured his penis in exchange for American Idol contestant Katharine McPhee's phone number. Lynch claimed to measure at just over five inches. He was also insulted by "Derek the Midget" and a frequently played Sal and Richard bit featuring a fanciful sexual encounter between Lynch and Tabitha Stevens.
McPhee reportedly hates the Stern show now because Lynch called her too many times, according to Howard Stern, who told Lynch this news during the January 31, 2007, show. (Lynch claimed he only called her three times.)
As a result, McPhee refused to record a message for either the Stern show or Lynch when she visited Sirius headquarters on January 30, 2007, according to Howard 100 News.
On June 5, 2006, Lynch called the Stern Show and complained that his parents had read about him measuring his penis on Misplaced Pages (which he called "Wackipedia") on this page. Stern read a paragraph of this article, regarding penis measuring, verbatim on the air. Also, Stern Show producer Gary Dell'Abate commented on the air he and the Stern Show staff enjoy the picture of Lynch in this article. Flustered, Lynch refused to perform any strange tasks to meet Katharine McPhee, such as urinating or defecating in a diaper, inserting a ruler or a Sirius satellite receiver into his rectum, submitting to a proctological exam, wearing Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf's old bunny outfit, being vomited on by Richard Christy, being flushed down a toilet, being sent in the mail or holding seven-hundred and fifty helium balloons and seeing if he would be carried away.
Balloon stunt
On June 6, 2006, Lynch agreed to sit in a lawn chair while he was lifted up by balloons. Stern told Lynch that either he attach the balloons to his body (not a chair) or he would not be able to meet Katharine McPhee. Stern then noted that perhaps Lynch would be hit by lightning, which could result in the merging of Lynch and the balloon, creating a new superhero, Balloon!
On the next day, Lynch backed out due to the new insulting bits being played about him, including a song parody, "Fly Me with Balloons" (to the tune of "Fly Me to the Moon", sung by Shuli with a digital "midget" voice effect) and a prank phone call using recordings of Lynch's voice to a balloon shop. When Stern said one of the bits was great, Lynch responded, "That was not great you big-nosed retard!"
It's noteworthy that Eric "the Midget" Lynch has been calling in and being put on the air just about every day since his feud fizzled out in May 2006. On June 7, 2006, Stern commented that Lynch might be the "King of the Wack Pack".
On June 7, 2006, Howard Stern played a voice mail message on the air indicating that Lynch is "at war" (see His own Sirius show and subsequent feud above) with Stern yet again, due to the constant mockery he has endured on the air recently. Lynch threatened to call Katharine McPhee to warn her not to do the Stern Show. Stern has expressed his belief that Lynch will be back and will perform the balloon stunt.
After not calling in for perhaps a handful of days during one of his feuds, Lynch had been all over Howard 100 and Howard 101. In the week beginning with June 18, 2006, Lynch called The Intern Show, Superfan Roundtable and The Friday Show in addition to the Stern Show. He had expressed concern over whether the LPA would accept him if he was to perform the "balloon stunt" or a similar stunt. On June 26, 2006 Lynch called the Stern Show, angered by Stern's calm assurance that Lynch would perform the stunt.
"Roast Me"
Since the Howard Stern Show moved to the verbal freedom that Sirius Satellite Radio offers, Howard has been hosting a few uncensored "celebrity" roasts that have been extremely popular and featured some of the top comedians in the country. While discussing who the next roastee should be on January 29th, 2007, Lynch called in to beg for the opportunity to be roasted. The general consensus was that it would make Howard and the roasters look bad for roasting someone that is so physically handicapped.
Lynch continued to call in and on February 6, 2007, it was revealed that Eric has begun leaving angry voice mails containing jabs at the Stern Show primaries. Stern show staff suspected that his motivation was to anger them so much, that they would want to roast him. Howard is still adamant about NOT doing a roast for Lynch, especially with all of the e-mails begging Howard to not even put his calls through, much less give him the "privilege" of being roasted.
"You know what to do"
On March 12th, 2007 Lynch left a message on friend and fellow Stern show regular caller Johnny Fratto's answering machine asking Johnny to "teach a lesson", which many (including show staff) interpret to ordering a "hit." The demand was made in regards to a caller named Jerry who claimed that he went to High School with Eric, and was upset that he made all of these requests regarding wheel chair ramps and access.
Lynch was lambasted by the staff for saying "you know what to do Johnny, you know what to do" because if Johnny were insane, the caller might be dead. Stern repeatedly made Eric admit that he was "just joking" and wants no harm done to the caller. During the same segment, Eric also admitted that he urinated in his bed while sleeping, because he was dreaming about going to the bathroom in a bathtub. He also stated that this didn't stain his bed too much because he was wearing boxers and "PJ Pants." Howard also joked that Eric will have Sanjaya the American Idol contestant killed. Should Sanjaya survive Eric's pending hit, Eric is on record that he will not attend this year's Idol Tour due to Sanjaya's inclusion.
Footnotes and References
- This has also led to Artie Lange of the Stern Show to refer to Lynch as Eric the Freakishly small Human, which Lynch considered equally offensive.
- Zack Parsons (2007-03-19). "The Big Ten List of Little People". SomethingAwful.com. Retrieved 2007-03-22.
- In high school Lynch also garnered the nickname of Speed Racer from his speeding through the hallways in his electric wheelchair.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-04-06). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-05-10). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-05-17). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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"Daily Highlights/News Archives For the week of 05/15/2006 to 05/19/2006". 2006-12-18 18:57:45. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-05-22). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-05). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
{{cite web}}: Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - This has led to Lynch being called balloon boy on numerous occasions.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-06). "The Rundown". Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-07). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-07). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
{{cite web}}: Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - Mark Mercer (2006-06-07). "Eric the Midget Angry Again". MarksFriggin.com. Retrieved 2007-03-22.
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Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-26). "Staying Put on the Ground". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05.
{{cite web}}: Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - Mark Mercer (2006-06-26). "Eric the Midget Calls in, Hangs up on "Stern"". MarksFriggin.com. Retrieved 2007-03-22.
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Kaplan, Jason (2007-03-12). "Finding His Man Jerry". HowardStern.com. p. 1. Retrieved 2007-03-12.
{{cite web}}: Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - This also included being jokingly referred to as Eric the Don, or Eric the Godfather.
See also
External links
| Howard Stern | |
|---|---|
| Career | |
| Books | |
| The Howard Stern Show | |
| Howard 100 and 101 | |
| See also | |