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John Gottman
Born	John Mordecai Gottman (1942-04-26) April 26, 1942 (age 82) Dominican Republic
Nationality	American
Education	Fairleigh Dickinson University (BS) Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MS) University of Wisconsin (MA, PhD)
Known for	Cascade Model of Relational Dissolution
Spouse	Julie Schwartz Gottman
Children	Moriah Gottman
Scientific career
Fields	Psychology
Institutions	University of Washington
Website	www.gottman.com

John Mordecai Gottman (born April 26, 1942) is an American psychologist and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. His research focuses on divorce prediction and marital stability through relationship analyses. Gottman's work is centered on the field of relationship counseling: enhanced relationship functioning and mitigation of behaviors detrimental to human relationships. Gottman's work has also contributed to the development of important concepts on social sequence analysis.

In 1996, Gottman co-founded and led The Gottman Institute alongside his wife, psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman. Together, they are the co-founders of Affective Software Inc., a program seeking to make marriage and relationship counseling procedures more accessible to a broader audience.

Personal life

John Gottman was born on April 26, 1942, in the Dominican Republic to Orthodox Jewish parents. His father was a rabbi in pre-World War II Vienna. Gottman was educated in a Lubavitch Yeshiva Elementary School in Brooklyn. Gottman practices Conservative Judaism, keeps kosher (follows Jewish dietary laws) and observes Shabbat.

In 1987, he married Julie Schwartz, a psychotherapist. His two previous marriages had ended in divorce. He has a daughter named Moriah Gottman. John and Julie Gottman live in Washington state.

Education and work experience

John Gottman received his bachelor's degree in Mathematics-Physics from Fairleigh Dickinson University in 1962. In 1964, he earned his master's in Mathematics-Psychology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He received a second master's degree in Clinical Psychology-Mathematics in 1967, and a PhD in Clinical Psychology in 1971 from the University of Wisconsin.

At Fairleigh Dickinson University, Gottman worked as an instructor for the mathematics department, a research assistant for the department of physics, and a researcher for the school of engineering. At the Lawrence Radiation Laboratory , he worked as a computer programmer and mathematician. He was a program evaluator and research designer for the Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction. In 1981, Gottman became a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois. Additionally, he was a professor of psychology at the University of Washington for 16 years. Since 2002, Gottman has worked as the emeritus Professor of Psychology for the University of Washington and as the executive director for the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle.

Studies

Predictions of divorce

Gottman developed multiple models, scales, and formulas to predict marital stability and divorce in couples. He has completed seven studies in this field. Some of Gottman's most popular work comes from his research regarding newlywed couples.

This work concludes that there are four negative behaviors that are most likely to lead to and therefore predict divorce. These are: criticism of a partner's personality; contempt, which is usually derived from a position of superiority; defensiveness; and stonewalling, which is displayed through emotional withdrawal from interactions. Typically, defense occurs in response to criticism and stonewalling as a result of feeling overwhelmed by the experience of conflict.

Stable couples handle conflict in positive ways and support each other. In Gottman's book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he addresses some standard tools that these couples implement to stay together, from taking the time to continue building a friendship with their spouse, to honoring and respecting their spouse.

He developed "The Gottman Method Couples Therapy" based on his research findings. The form of therapy aims to increase respect, affection, and closeness; break through and resolve conflict; generate greater understandings; and keep conflict discussions calm. The goal of The Gottman Method is to help couples build happy and stable marriages. Gottman's therapy model focuses more on the process of conflict within the marriage, and less on the content of the conflict.

John Gottman conducted a study based on oral interviews with 95 newlywed couples. His predictions are based on perceived marital bonds. Couples were asked about their relationship, mutual history, and philosophy toward marriage. The interview measured the couple's perceptions of shared history and marriage by focusing on the positive or negative qualities of the relationship expressed in the telling of the story. To measure each spouse's perception of the marriage and each other, the interviewer listened to the couple's negative or positive experiences. Rather than scoring the content of their answers, interviewers used the Oral History Interview coding system, developed by Buehlman and Gottman in 1996, to measure spouses' perceptions about the marriage and each other. Therefore, the couples' perception was used to predict whether they would gain marital stability or end up divorced. The more positive their perceptions and attitudes were about their marriage and each other, the more stable the marriage.

Gottman's models partly rely on Paul Ekman's method of analyzing human emotion and microexpressions. Ekman's research was primarily based on observing the micro-expressions to determine whether somebody was lying or telling the truth.

The original study was published by Gottman and Kim Therese Buehlman in 1992, in which they interviewed couples with children. A posteriori modeling yielded a discriminant function that could discern those who had divorced with 94% accuracy. Since Gottman believed that early married life is a period of adjustment, and perceptions are being formed, he sought to predict marital stability and divorce through couples' perceptions during the first year of marriage.

In 1998, Gottman developed a model to predict which newlywed couples would remain married and which would divorce four to six years later. The model fits the data with 90% accuracy. Another model from Gottman can determine with 81% accuracy which marriages survived after seven to nine years.

Gottman's follow-up study with newlywed couples, published in 2000, used the Oral History Interview to predict marital stability and divorce. Gottman's model fit with 87.4% accuracy for classifying couples who divorce (or not) within the couples' first five years of marriage. He used couples' perceptions about their marriages and each other to model marital stability or divorce.

In a 2002 paper, Gottman and Robert W. Levenson perform a regression analysis of a two-factor model where skin conductance levels and oral history narratives encodings are the only two statistically significant variables. Facial expressions using Ekman's encoding scheme were not statistically significant.

Independent studies testing Gottman marriage courses

Building Strong Families Program

Independent research on the impact of Gottman's marriage strengthening programs for the general public has further questioned Gottman couple education programs.

The largest independent evaluation of a marriage education curriculum developed by Gottman was conducted by Mathematica Policy Research at nine sites in five states. The study was titled, "Loving Couples, Loving Children," and was a federally funded, multi-year Building Strong Families Program study contracted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. The study group included low-income, unwed couples.

An impact report released by the Office of Planning Research and Evaluation showed that the intervention had no positive impact and, in one case, "had negative effects on couples' relationships".

Practical solutions

The following is a partial list of methods and practices developed by Gottman and his wife for marriage and child-rearing:

Therapist education

The Gottman Institute certifies new therapists regularly. Three levels of professional training are generally delivered through intensive two-day seminars or through at-home or online study to train therapists in Gottman Method Couples Therapy:

• Learn to integrate research-based methods and inspire transformation in your work with couples.
• Identify the communication patterns, friendship basis, and conflict management dynamics that characterize enduring intimate relationships.
• Discover a roadmap for helping couples to compassionately manage their conflicts, deepen their friendship and intimacy, and share their life purpose and dreams.

In Gottman's book, The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy, he states that therapy should emphasize "conflict regulation, not resolution."

Pre-birth workshop

Bringing Baby Home is a two-day seminar to help prepare would-be parents to a new baby, using 18 exercises and other tricks.

In a peer-reviewed paper, Gottman shows that for a randomly controlled, unblinded experiment, couples attending the workshop were better off later, as follows: Without the workshop, 70% of couples had lower marital satisfaction relative to before birth (a common finding); 58% of mothers had some symptoms of depression after giving birth. For mothers who participated in the workshop, only 22% had depressive symptoms.

Self-help books

Gottman has authored or co-authored 60 works. They cover research-backed advice for improving marriages, raising emotionally intelligent children, and on having children without damaging the relationship.

In Gottman's work, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, he lists the five steps to emotion coaching. Emotion coaching is designed to "support the development of empathetic responses and thought constructions promoting better self-management and regulation." The five steps Gottman lists in his book are:

1. Be aware of your child's emotions.
2. Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for connection and teaching.
3. Listening empathetically and validating your child's emotions.
4. Help your child label their emotions.
5. Set limits while problem solving.

His most famous self-help book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert, is widely regarded as both powerful and practical.

The Gottman Method of Relationship Therapy

The Gottman Method is a therapy approach which focuses on supporting and strengthening couples by utilizing Gottman's research and his theory which is referred to as The Sound Relationship House. This theory consists of nine components.

1. Building love maps - This refers to enhancing how well one knows their partner. Gottman developed an app especially designed to target the further developing love maps named Gottman's Card Decks. The app centers around asking questions in different relational areas such as emotional intimacy, romance, friendship, hobbies, and personality aspects of each partner. It is free to download and is often advertised on The Gottman Institute social media platforms. The questions are created in order to encourage couples to think deeply about what they already know about one another and spaces in which they can improve and continue learning new details about them or changes as they occur. The goal in mind when developing love maps is to strengthen bonds and increase fondness and admiration in the relationship.
2. Nurturing fondness and admiration in the relationship.
3. Turning towards each other - This involves being aware of a partner's needs and responding to their bids for connection.
4. Creating a positive perspective - This is when the couple looks for the best in each other rather than rushing to criticism.
5. Managing conflict - Managing conflict is when you take into consideration your partner's feelings and emotions. Another aspect of conflict management is continual dialogue to ensure resolution. When feeling heated during arguments, it is important to self-soothe by doing something to get your mind off the issue at hand.
6. Making life dreams come true - It is important to be with someone who is trying to inspire you to reach your goals.
7. Creating shared meaning - This is when couples start to have rituals, traditions, and symbols that you share together.
8. Weight-bearing wall - Cultivating trust in the relationship.
9. Weight-bearing wall - Cultivating commitment in the relationship.

Therapists can receive certification in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

Awards and honors

Gottman has been the recipient of four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards: the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Distinguished Research Scientist Award, the American Family Therapy Academy Award for Most Distinguished Contributor to Family Systems Research, the American Psychological Association Division of Family Psychology, Presidential Citation for Outstanding Lifetime Research Contribution and the National Council of Family Relations, 1994 Burgess Award for Outstanding Career in Theory and Research. In addition, Gottman takes a spot in the Psychotherapy Networker's Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century.

In 2021, Gottman received an honorary Doctor of Science degree from the University of Wisconsin–Madison.

Works

Gottman has published over 190 papers, and is the author or co-author of 40 books, notably:

• Nan Silver; Gottman, John (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: What You Can Learn from the Breakthrough Research to Make Your Marriage Last. New York: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 978-0-671-86748-5.
• Joan Declaire; Gottman, John (1997). The Heart of Parenting: How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child. New York: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 978-0-684-80130-8.
• The Marriage Clinic (W.W. Norton, 1999), W W Norton page
• Nan Silver; Gottman, John (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 978-0-609-80579-4. – a New York Times bestseller
• Gottman, John; Joan Declaire (2001). The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide for Building Better Connections with Family, Friends, and Lovers. New York: Crown Publishers. ISBN 978-0-609-60809-8.
• Anne Gartlan; Julie Schwartz Gottman; Joan Declaire (2006). Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship. Random House Audio. ISBN 978-0-7393-3237-5.
• Julie Schwartz Gottman; Gottman, John (2008). And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives. New York: Three Rivers Press. ISBN 978-1-4000-9738-8.
• Gottman, John (2011). The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples. New York: W. W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0-393-70595-9.
• Gottman, John; Silver, Nan (2012). What Makes Love Last. New York: Simon & Schuster. p. 305. ISBN 978-1451608489.
• Gottman, John; Gottman, Julie Schwartz (2015). 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy. New York: W.W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0393708356
• Gottman, John; Gottman, Julie Schwartz; Abrams, Douglas; Abrams, Rachel Carlton (2016). The Man's Guide to Women. New York: Rodale. ISBN 978-1-62336-184-6.
• Gottman, John; Gottman, Julie Schwartz (2018). The Science of Couples and Family Therapy: Behind the Scenes at the "Love Lab". New York: W.W. Norton & Company. ISBN 978-0393712742.
• Gottman, John (2019). Eight Dates: to keep your relationship happy, thriving and lasting. Penguin Books, Limited. ISBN 978-0241988350.

See also

• Thin-slicing

References

1. The Gottman Institute. Online Abstracts of Published Research Articles. Accessed online 14 October 2008.
2. Bakeman, Roger; Quera, Vicenç (2011). Sequential Analysis and Observational Methods for the Behavioral Sciences. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. ISBN 978-1-107-00124-4.
3. John Gottman. John Gottman, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist Archived 2009-02-26 at the Wayback Machine. Accessed online 14 October 2008.
4. "Affective Software, Inc". affectivesoftware.com. Retrieved 2021-07-07.
5. Weinstein, Natalie (30 May 1997), "Do you want to raise a mensch? Psychology researcher tells how", The Jewish Bulletin of Northern California
6. "Gottman Rite Held". Wisconsin State Journal. No. p.2, section 5. 14 February 1971.
7. Gottman, John M. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony; 1st edition. pp. Dedication page. ISBN 978-0609805794.
8. ^ "John & Julie Gottman - About". The Gottman Institute. Retrieved 2020-11-04.
9. "How Dr. Gottman Can Predict Divorce (with 94% Accuracy)". The Gottman Relationship Institute. 23 August 2017.
10. Mann, Jeff (2015-09-10). "Scientists say this facial expression can kill a relationship". Brain Fodder. Retrieved 2021-07-01.
11. "Research FAQs". The Gottman Relationship Institute. Retrieved 21 March 2012.
12. "What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy?". The Gottman Research Institute. Retrieved 21 March 2012.
13. Buehlman, K.T., Gottman, John (1996). The Oral History Coding System.(In J. Gottman (Ed.), What predicts divorce? The measures. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
14. "Microexpressions: A Universal Language You Wear on Your Face". Orlando Science Center. 2020-04-29. Retrieved 2021-07-01.
15. Buehlman, K. T.; Gottman, John; Katz, L. F. (1992). "How a couple views their past predicts their future: Predicting divorce from an oral history interview". Journal of Family Psychology. 5 (3–4): 295–318. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.5.3-4.295.
16. ^ Carrere, S.; Buehlman, K. T.; Gottman, J. M.; Coan, J. A.; Ruckstuhl, L. (2000). "Predicting marital stability and divorce in newlywed couples". Journal of Family Psychology. 14 (1): 42–58. CiteSeerX 10.1.1.514.2214. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.14.1.42. PMID 10740681.
17. Gottman, John (2003). The Mathematics of Marriage. MIT Press. ISBN 978-0-262-07226-7. Archived from the original on 2009-02-27. Retrieved 2008-10-14.
18. Gottman, JM; Levenson, RW (2002). "A two-factor model for predicting when a couple will divorce: exploratory analyses using 14-year longitudinal data". Fam Process. 41 (1): 83–96. doi:10.1111/j.1545-5300.2002.40102000083.x. PMID 11924092.
19. "Family Support Policy Research". Mathematica.
20. "Resources for Couples | The Gottman Institute".
21. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation.
22. Building Strong Families Program Impact Report, Mathematica Policy Research, May 2010.
23. "Research-based couples therapy training for individuals and groups," The Gottman Relationship Institute website, retrieved November 26, 2012. "Mental Health Professional Workshops in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy". Archived from the original on 2012-11-23. Retrieved 2012-11-26.
24. Leggett, Debra G. (October 2009). "Book Review: John M. Gottman The Marriage Clinic (1999). Julie Schwartz Gottman The Marriage Clinic Casebook New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 2004. 456 pp., 237 pp. (casebook). $49, $32 (casebook)". The Family Journal. 17 (4): 384–385. doi:10.1177/1066480709347354. S2CID 144452776.
25. Shapiro, Alyson F.; Gottman, John M. (January 2005). "Effects on Marriage of a Psycho-Communicative-Educational Intervention With Couples Undergoing the Transition to Parenthood, Evaluation at 1-Year Post Intervention". Journal of Family Communication. 5 (1): 1–24. doi:10.1207/s15327698jfc0501_1. S2CID 55596629.
26. "John M. Gottman". www.goodreads.com. Retrieved 2020-08-22.
27. ^ Gus, Licette; Rose, Janet; Gilbert, Louise (March 2015). "Emotion Coaching: A universal strategy for supporting and promoting sustainable emotional and behavioural well-being". Educational and Child Psychology. 32 (1): 31–41. doi:10.53841/bpsecp.2015.32.1.31. S2CID 56159472.
28. "Independents/Chain Bestseller List". archive.nytimes.com. Retrieved 2021-03-09.
29. Van Zutphen, Neal (31 December 2016). "Book Review: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work". Journal of Financial Therapy. 7 (2). doi:10.4148/1944-9771.1141.
30. "Gottman Card Decks App - Couples".
31. Phillips, Eleanor; Cheston, Ric (1979). "Conflict Resolution: What Works?". California Management Review. 21 (4): 76–83. doi:10.2307/41164837. JSTOR 41164837. S2CID 154480110. ProQuest 206299549.
32. "What is The Sound Relationship House?". The Gottman Institute. 2020-11-30. Retrieved 2021-07-02.
33. "The Gottman Method - About". The Gottman Institute. Retrieved 2020-11-04.
34. American Family Therapy Academy website
35. "Home | National Council on Family Relations". www.ncfr.org.
36. ^ "About John Gottman" Archived 2010-01-27 at the Wayback Machine on the Gottman Institute website
37. "Ella, Nosbusch, Grant to receive honorary degrees from UW–Madison". news.wisc.edu. Retrieved 2022-08-05.

External links

• The Gottman Institute website
• The Mathematics of Love - An interview (Edge)
• An Interview with John Gottman (Psychotherapy.net)
• Gottman's Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work - Commentary from 50 Psychology Classics (2007)
• John Gottman: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Archived 2017-08-29 at the Wayback Machine KUOW-FM Speaker Forum
• John Gottman : Couples workshop training first time in London United Kingdom in 2013

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